Page 63 of His Custody

Keyne screamed herself hoarse, threw things until her shelves were empty and cried until she didn’t have any tears left. He stood there and took it, feeling like he deserved it, and like he’d failed her. He couldn’t give in no matter how badly he wanted to. Leaving this way might make it easier for her. In a massive blowout of rage and hate instead of hand-wringing want and sadness.

When she gave in and sat on the floor, curled in on herself until all he could see of her was her pale skin peeking through her wild copper hair, he went to her.

“Do you want to sleep in here tonight or do you want to sleep with me?”

She shuddered under his hand and he could feel the tautness in her muscles. They were practically vibrating with indecision and he wished in silence,Stay with me, please. Please, Keyne, I want you to stay.

***

She wanted so badly to tell him to fuck off. To tell him to go sleep in his big, empty bed all alone, but that would be cutting off her nose to spite her face. If she could have one more night with Jasper, she’d take it no matter how she got it. “I want to sleep with you.”

In answer, he picked her up and walked down the hall to his room, depositing her in the bathroom where he instructed her to get ready. She went through her routine of washing her face, brushing her teeth and hair like an automaton. Is that what he wanted from her? To be able to turn her feelings for him on and off so easily? Did he only want to be loved when it was convenient for him? She wrenched the towel on the holder and flung it toward the wall, brushing past Jasper who’d stripped down to what he wore to bed.

She had half a mind to leave, to go back to her room, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. But nor could she bring herself to ask for what she really wanted. So she’d ask for it in a way that wouldn’t mean she’d have to suffer the pitying look on his face when he said no. Grasping the fluffy duvet in her hands, she pulled it down in a neat corner, and then crawled up to pull her cuff out and leave it in plain sight.

Jasper could ignore her silent request if he wanted to, but she hoped with all her heart he wouldn’t. She curled up and arranged her legs so that her meaning was clear, and then lay there in silence, listening to the familiar sounds of Jasper washing up and then his soft footfalls on the carpet, as if he thought there was a chance she’d fallen asleep.

Her throat hurt and her body ached, but the buzz of anxiety was better than caffeine at keeping her awake despite her bodily exhaustion. When he reached the bed, he paused and she held her breath, sending a silent prayer to she didn’t know who. The familiar sound of Jasper blowing a frustrated breath out his nose made her ears perk, and then, blessedly, he was touching her. Picking up her foot, cradling it in his hands as he wrapped his cuff around her ankle in a gesture that never failed to stir something inside of her. She never wanted it to fail.

Control, discipline, safety, love. That’s what it said to her, and even though she was so angry she wanted to punch him, she still needed that from him and was grateful when he gave it to her.

Even more grateful when he climbed onto the bed and straddled her. It was possible he’d set himself down on the far side of her and hold her until she went to sleep, but he didn’t. He held his big body above her, and after what felt like a very long time, brushed his knuckles over her cheek.

Before they went to sleep, he had her. Had her in every way she knew of, and though she should have turned him away, she couldn’t. Instead, she savored it. Every kiss, every bite, every thrust, every mark he put on her skin. Even though she was exhausted when they were done, she tried to stay awake to relish every last minute before he broke his promises and gave her away.

Chapter Twenty-four

August

She couldn’t ignore the looks Jasper got as he helped her move her things into the dorm. Or the pointing and the whispers.

Is that her dad? Is that her brother? They don’t look anything alike. Is that her boyfriend? He looks way too old for her, though. Whoever he is, he’s super hot.

Not one of them suggested he was her master. She was glad for it. They wouldn’t understand at best, might be horrified at worst, but part of her wanted to shake her head in pity and look down at them.Silly girls. I belong to him. No one will ever love you the way he loves me.Even if he’s pushing me away.

The moving didn’t take long. She hadn’t packed a lot, figured she would be going home whenever she could and she didn’t want to get settled. What was the point? She’d do her time here as if it were prison instead of the most carefree four years of her life and be done with it, run back to her home with Jasper as soon as she could. Work on convincing him in the meantime that this was silly. No, not silly. Ludicrous.

It wouldn’t work. Jasper was always so smug and self-righteous. Ninety-eight percent of the time she loved that about him, but this fell into the two percent she did not. Her rage about being summarily dismissed was white hot and blinding.

Jasper helped her make her bed, put away the books she’d brought, unpack her clothes, and set up her computer. When they were done, she stood by the window in her single room, part of a three-bedroom suite, arms crossed in front of her.

Jasper stood by the door, his eyes trained on her wrist where her bracelet used to be. Let him think she’d discarded it as he was putting her aside. Really it was tucked safely in her pocket where it would sit while she waited, aching to put it back on. Would as soon as the door was shut behind him but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction or the comfort of knowing that. She wanted him to hurt as he’d hurt her. Immature, perhaps, but no more so than the tantrum she’d thrown last night.

If he wanted to treat her like a child who didn’t know her own mind, she sure as hell could act like one.

“There’s a dinner I have to go to soon. You can go now.”

“I can stay until you get back if you want.”

The tension on his face said this was hard for him, too. Good. It ought to be. “Don’t. Didn’t you want me to be a normal college kid? How am I supposed to find some dickwad named Chaz to fuck tonight if you’re waiting in my room?”

Jasper cringed, his nostrils flaring as he blew a breath out his nose. She’d hit a nerve. “That’s well within your rights, although I wish you wouldn’t, for several reasons.”

Oh, god, he was going to list them, wasn’t he? He was.

“First, because I was rough with you last night and if you were still at home, I’d take it easy on you for a couple of days before I went at you again. Second, because I don’t think you’d be happy with anonymous sex. You like intimacy. You need to trust the person you’re with. That’s not a bad thing, it’s just how you’re wired.

“Third, the likelihood of some random college guy knowing what he’s doing is low. I’ve deprived you before, but being denied an orgasm for my pleasure and not getting off because a kid is too stupid to know how are two completely different animals. The former gets you frustrated, but also horny and soaking wet, knowing you’re making me happy. Also knowing when I do give in, your orgasm is going to be out of this world. The latter I think would piss you off. Fourth—”

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