Page 63 of Shining Through

The devastation in Daniil’s eyes was too much for her to bear. If she stayed here any longer, she’d lose her hard-won control and take back every word. She’d tell Peter and skating to take a hike, and that her love for Daniil was the only thing that mattered.

But that couldn’t happen. She’d come too far. Too many people had given up too much. Now it was her turn to give up something. Like brave Antigone, she must choose duty and honor over love. She squared her shoulders and let out a breath, then nodded to Peter. “I’m ready.”

They turned away. She squeezed her eyes shut, fighting back the tears that threatened. She had to present a calm, cool mask when she faced the press. Then came Daniil’s voice, angry, but broken. “Is this what you want?”

It wasn’t. But she couldn’t see any other way. The moment mirrored last night, and as much as that hurt, this was worse. But for both their sakes, the Ice Queen lifted her chin. “It is. Goodbye, Daniil.”

He said nothing more as she walked away down the corridor.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Should he have stopped her?

Four weeks and a day after Tabitha walked out of his life, Daniil still didn’t know.

On the train to Moscow for Russian Nationals, he sat apart from the Lake Shosha group. He stared out the window, thought about all that had happened, and what lay ahead.

Tabitha had returned to the United States and recommitted to her skating. She’d called once and sent a congratulatory text after he’d taken silver in the International Series Championship two weeks ago. He hadn’t returned them, nor would he. Though agonizing, a clean break was always best.

He’d returned from St. Petersburg, settled what he owed to his coaches and training center through the end of the year, then severed ties to Nikolai. The lack of response from his father had been a relief and disappointment. He’d hoped Nikolai would care enough to notice. He should have known better.

Without a steady flow of cash, Daniil had to turn to the Russian Sports Federation to finance his training. After his strong season, he hoped the federation would fund him through the Winter Games, and the World Championship. But Bogdanov continued to drag his heels. Anton had pressed for an answer, only to be told a decision was pending. Everything depended on his drug test result, including his eligibility to skate in the National championship. With Nationals starting, Daniil had no choice but to prepare and hope Bogdanov wasn’t dragging him to Moscow only to be told no.

The city glowed with wintertime beauty, and with just a week before the New Year holiday, Moscow had a festive atmosphere. Daniil found no joy. Headed to dinner with his training mates, coaches and their families, he felt utterly alone.

Ilya and his wife Agnessa walked beside Daniil. The older man looked over. “It will pass, Dan’ka.”

“I know,” he answered, though a part of him didn’t want it to. The intense pain confirmed that what he’d felt for Tabitha was the real deal. Love wasn’t something he’d thought he would ever know, but now that he had, he struggled to let it go. He’d felt whole, seen more goodness in the world. She’d changed him for the better. He wished she could see it, and that she was here to cheer him on. Not only in the competition, but through each step of becoming a man she could be proud of.

But she was lost to him. The American TV interview he’d watched two nights ago proved it.

The interviewer had focused on her difficulties this season and included Peter Flanagan blaming his skater’s troubles on distraction and “bad choices.” Tabitha sat beside him and then added, “I hurt people I cared about. I lost sight of what was most important and did things that in hindsight weren’t wise.”

“And have you learned from your mistakes?”

“Yes. I believe I have.”

A mistake. That was how she thought of him. He’d treasured what they’d had together, and Tabitha had put it behind her. It was time for him to do the same. If only she didn’t invade his thoughts every other minute.

After dinner, his friends headed to a nightclub in the Tverskoy district to celebrate pair skater Aleksandra Markova’s eighteenth birthday. Daniil went, but didn’t plan to stay long. Being in a club would only make him think of the one in Chicago where he’d danced with Tabitha and how she’d looked sipping a chocolate martini.

The club was too posh and pretentious for his taste, and he winced at how much it cost just to walk in. Life was different without Nikolai’s money that was for damn sure. When they toasted Sasha with vodka shots, the nightclub manager recognized them and decided they were famous enough to sit in the VIP balcony.

As they were shown to a table, Daniil had a creeping sense of being watched. No sooner had he sat down than a steroid-pumped dude in a black t-shirt walked over. “Daniil Nikolaevich. Your papa insists you join him for a drink.”

Daniil turned. Nikolai and his entourage sat at a corner table. Well, he’d wanted a response from his father. He should be more careful about what he wished for.

As Daniil approached, Nikolai gestured toward the open chair to his right. Though his father was pushing sixty, his hair was still dark and his face hadn’t aged in the five years since Daniil last saw him. The body guard poured shots from the table bottle of Stoli Elit: Himalayan and Nikolai toasted. “To my son, who would have otherwise ignored me.”

Everyone laughed, then drank, then left. Only Daniil, Nikolai, the body guard, and a beautiful young blonde in diamonds and a fur coat, remained. If her long, bare legs were any sign, she wore nothing else. Nikolai lit a cigarette off hers and exhaled. “You’re in town and don’t even come to see me.”

“I’ve been busy.”

Nikolai moved closer to his pouty squeeze. “Everyone is busy. But Oksana’s a big skating fan and wanted to meet you.”

Oksana seemed more interested in her phone, but Daniil spread his hands and leaned back in his chair. “So here I am. And what are you about these days?”

Nikolai gestured with his cigarette. “Business, always business. Solving problems for those in need. Lately, I’ve been hearing about your problems.”

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