Page 95 of One Last Chance

“I’d appreciate it if you’d stop that.” Moose opened his eyes. Smiled. “I know you were built to be a hero. But one of these days . . .” He sighed. “Ever since you grabbed that kid out of the river, you wanted to be the guy who saves the day. First in the water, last off the boat. You thought if you were just strong enough, could endure enough, be the best, then you could save anyone.”

“And?”

“And then you didn’t.”

Axel stared at him.

“Aven. The guy on the fishing boat . . .”

“What, are you keeping score?”

“Not even a little. But you are.”

Axel swallowed.

“You’ve disappointed yourself, and that infuriates you.”

“Of course it does.”

“Because you can do better.”

“Maybe, yeah.”

“Save everyone.”

Axel opened his mouth. Closed it. “What are you getting at?”

“Just pointing out the arrogance of that statement, Captain America. Without you, the world would . . . we’d all end in disaster.”

“I thought you came in here to make me feel better.”

“What makes you think that? I’m your brother. But listen. If you feel shame that you couldn’t rescue someone who was beyond rescue, then you’re saying that you’re better than God.”

Axel narrowed his eyes at his brother. “I’m not saying that I’m better than God.”

“You are. Deep down inside you’re angry because you thought you were enough. That you should have been able to save them.”

Axel blinked at him. “I guess so. I’d call it regret, not anger.”

“And I’d call it pride. You know what happens with pride . . .”

“Oh, this is fun. Can I call a friend?”

“A fall. A big fall. Because to even the score with the disastrous you, you’ve told yourself that God doesn’t love you. Isn’t for you. And that he’s actually working against you.” Moose leaned forward. “But what if God is right here, saving you, over and over, because he is actually for you? What if he doesn’t think you’re a disappointment? Even if you are a little bit arrogant.”

“I don’t think that word means what you think it means.”

Moose had pulled out the medical kit and opened it. Now he grabbed a bottle of water. Handed it to Axel. “Drink. It will slow down your heart rate.”

“Maybe you should stop talking—that’ll slow my heart rate.”

“Drink.”

Axel put the bottle to his lips while Moose talked.

“Regret is one part shame and one part lesson. But if the only lesson you’ve learned is that you are on your own, then that is the wrong lesson.”

He wiped his mouth. Okay, the drink helped. “What is the right lesson?”

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