Please not the Sambuca alarm
Saffron:
Don’t worry, Toby
I’ll be there before she has time to start looking for the alarm
Sophia:
You guys are no fun
Just as I promised, I arrived at Lainey and Toby’s house in less than half an hour. Thankfully, Lainey hadn’t found the Sambuca alarm yet so we were all saved. For now, at least.
I joined everyone in the garden, eying the burgers that Toby and Desmond were preparing for everyone. “Isn’t it a bit cold for a barbecue?”
"It's never too cold for a barbecue," Toby said. "Plus, I accidentally ordered ten packs of meat instead of just one when I came home drunk on Friday night, so we're trying to get all of these eaten before they go off."
I laughed and took a seat around the little artificial fire they had going between two sets of couples–Victor and Horatio, and Lottie and Liam. On the way, I paused to greet everyone with a hug, even Liam whom Sophia had dragged along with her today.
Liam was nice and friendly, but he wasn't one of us. He kind of just hung around in the background sometimes because he knew it made Sophia happy. And as long as he made Sophia happy, he could do whatever he wanted as far as I was concerned.
"I hope you're all hungry because there's a lot of meat here,” Toby called out to us as he began plating up all the food, but when all the jokes and catcalls started, he winced for setting himself up.
The tumultuous thoughts that had clouded my mind all day faded as I spent time with my friends. I was so lucky to have all these amazing people to call my closest friends. They were there for me in ways they didn't even know. However, today was the first time that having a large group of friends didn’t feel like it was enough.
I had played the role of the eleventh wheel for quite a few years now, but it was especially bothering me today. All my friends were partnered with people they would no doubt spend the rest of their lives with–more than half of them married or engaged–but here I was, all alone.
Today felt different. Today was the first day I wanted someone of my own to sit beside me. Someone I could cuddle with as it got darker and share a blanket with. I could wrap myself around his arm and lean over to rest my head on his shoulder. Or he could throw his arm over the back of my chair, and I could snuggle into his side. Someone I could look at and know that I would happily spend the rest of my life with them. Someone I could rely on. Care for.Love.
Today was the first day I felt alone. Truly alone. The sad kind of alone. The kind of alone where I grew old by myself and looked at all my friends with envy for falling in love and having families of their own, slowly but surely leaving me behind.
When my phone vibrated with a text, it was a welcomed distraction from my depressing thoughts.
Cedric:
Are you home?
I was hoping I could come over and we could talk
Saffron:
I’m not home right now
I’m out with my friends
I typed out the next message several times and deleted it each time until I forced myself to press send.
Saffron:
What did you want to talk about?
Cedric:
Last night
And this morning
Us