Page 14 of Mistaken Intention

“Thanks.” We both look down at Maisie, who’s gazing up at me, like the stranger I am. She looks nothing like her mom, whose hair is a shade or two blonder than mine, and who has pale blue eyes. Instead, she has Drew’s coloring, although Maisie’s dark hair isn’t as thick as his, and she has the beginnings of a very cute curl at the ends. At the moment, her eyes are a startling blue, but they could still change to be more like her father’s… more like that rich milk chocolate color I remember so well. “She’s been asleep for the last couple of hours.”

“Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?”

Lexi smiles. “It’s a good thing. It means she won’t be too grumpy when I give her a bath, and you’ll be able to spend some time with her before she goes to bed.”

I nod my head, trying to look enthusiastic. I know I should want to be with my niece, especially as this is the first time I’ve seen her since she was born, but it’s hard not to feel jealous.

We move further into the apartment and Lexi puts down the diaper bag that’s slung over her shoulder, letting it rest on the end of the couch, before she turns to me.

“I need to grab Maisie’s things from the car. Do you wanna take her for me?”

I’d rather run down to the car and fetch whatever Lexi needs. Frankly, I’d rather do almost anything than hold Drew’s baby, but I can’t say that, and I can’t decline, either. She’ll think I don’t care… and I do. I’m just finding this hard.

“Sure.”

She places Maisie in my arms, kissing her forehead.

“Mommy won’t be a minute. You be a good girl for Aunty Josie.”

She gives me a wink and a smile, then rushes to the door, letting herself out.

I stare after her, hoping she won’t be long, but then Maisie wriggles in my arms, and I look down at her.

“Hi,” I whisper, and she frowns, her forehead creasing. “Please don’t cry.” She stops pulling faces, listening to the sound of my voice, I think, and then she raises her hands, bringing them together, as she smiles, melting my heart, but somehow breaking it at the same time.

Tears well in my eyes and although I try to stop them from falling, I can’t. This is so much harder than I’d expected, but maybe that’s because it’s not just about Drew. I swallow down the lump in my throat.Dammit.

I thought I’d put this behind me… gotten used to the idea that this kind of thing isn’t for me.

Except it seems not.

I bend awkwardly, grabbing a Kleenex from the box on the coffee table, and dab at my eyes, which seems to confuse Maisie, and her smile fades while she watches me.

“It’s okay,” I whisper. “I’m just being silly… wanting what I can’t have.” That frown wrinkles her brow again, only this time, she yawns, and I have to say, it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. “Are you still tired?” She stares up at me and I brush my finger down her soft cheek. “You’re very beautiful, you know?” Her smile returns and I chuckle. Did she know I was talking about her? I guess she must have done. Despite all my good intentions, it’s impossible not to fall in love with her, and even though it hurts my heart to do it, I let her in.

The knocking at the door makes Maisie startle and I hold her a little closer. “It’s okay. It’s just Mommy.” I wander over, opening the door and stare in shock at the amount of bags and equipment Lexi’s carrying.

“Are you okay?” she asks as she comes in and dumps everything at the end of the couch.

“Sure. Why do you ask?”

“It’s just you look like you’ve been crying.” I don’t answer and after just a second or two, she comes over. “Sorry, Josie. I should have been more sensitive. It wasn’t fair of me to thrust Maisie at you, when you can’t…”

“It’s okay,” I say, before she goes any further. I don’t need reminding of my inadequacies, and I make a point of looking down at all the things she just brought in with her, in the hope she’ll let me change the subject. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but how long are you staying?”

She turns, smiling. “Just the one night,” she says, shrugging her shoulders as she takes Maisie from me, and looks down ather, kissing her forehead again. “Who’d have thought someone this small could need so many things and take up so much space?”

“What’s that?” I point to a dark gray case. It’s a little under two feet square and roughly six inches deep.

“That’s the travel crib.”

Travel crib? I hadn’t even realized Maisie would need one. I guess that just goes to show what I know.

“Shall I set it up in the guest room?” I ask.

“No, don’t worry. It only takes about thirty seconds.”

Maisie makes a grizzling sound, and Lexi looks down at her. “What’s wrong?” I ask, none the wiser.

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