Page 19 of Mistaken Intention

My shift is due to start at eight, and I check my watch. I’ve only got a few minutes until I need to leave, and I pull on my jacket as I swallow down the last of my coffee, looking over at the couch, where Lexi is sitting, feeding Maisie, who’s wearing light blue leggings and a white t-shirt, that has a dolphin on the front. She looks adorable, and I know I need to take my chance. They’ll be gone by the time I get back this evening. I need to say something… to make up for the awful tone there’s been between Lexi and me.

“About last night,” Lexi says, looking up at me, and I put down my cup. She beat me to it.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry if I said anything that upset you.”

“You didn’t. It’s just the memories of Mom.”

She nods her head. “I know. But do you think we could put all that behind us? I’d really like for us to be friends.”

I wander over and sit beside her. “I’d like that, too.”

She isn’t her father. She might look like him in a certain light, but she isn’t him. Memories of the fights between him and my mom are just that… memories. It’s too late to change any of it now.

“We’ll agree not to talk about my dad, shall we?” she says.

“I think that might be wise.” I smile. It wasn’t just his affair, it was the way he used to shout at mom, the way he’d sometimes belittle her to make him feel better about himself. I used to hear him doing it, putting her down and calling her names, and I’d run and hide, vowing silently that I’d never let a man do that to me.

Lexi and I have never talked about it, and we probably never will, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she felt the same. She must have heard them fighting, too… and even though he was her father, I can’t believe she felt good about what he was doing.

That’s all in the past, though. It’s another country, and we need to leave it behind us… not just the ancient past with her father, but the more recent past with Drew. She knows nothing about that, but it’s time I came to terms with the fact that nothing can ever happen between us. I’ll always love him, but I can’t see any way for us to be together… not now.

“I’ll call and let you know when I’m coming back from Newport.”

“Okay.”

“And I’ll leave the travel crib here, if that’s okay with you?”

“Sure.” I check my watch. “God… I’m gonna be late.” I jump to my feet and rush to the kitchen to grab my phone, unpluggingit from the charger. I don’t have time to check it, and I shove it into my jacket pocket.

“We’ll see you soon,” Lexi calls from the couch.

“Yeah. Take care, won’t you?”

“We will.”

She looks down at Maisie, who’s gazing up at her, and even though that pang of jealousy is still there, I have to smile. She’s so damn happy.

“Motherhood suits you, you know?”

She grins. “Yeah. It shocks me sometimes, how much I love her.”

I wander back over, bending down to kiss Maisie’s forehead. She glances up, her eyes locking with mine for a second, and I fight the pain in my chest… the knowledge that the only way forward is to put her father behind me, no matter how hard it is.

***

Drew

There’s a baby crying in the corner of the departure lounge and even though the mom is doing her best to calm him, he’s not responding to her. He’s just screaming at the top of his lungs. Several people around me are rolling their eyes, or tutting, and I’m willing to admit that a few months ago, I’d have joined them.

Now, I’ve got a lot more tolerance. I understand that babies cry; sometimes for a good reason, and sometimes for no reason at all… or that’s how it seems, anyway.

The woman behind me mutters, “Dear God,” although I don’t rise to her impatience, and just smile instead.

After my conversation with Hunter, I’m feeling more optimistic than I have in a long while. I think that’s partly because I’ve got a half-baked plan for the future, and partly because I’ve realized I need to take my chances… no matter how small they are.

And I intend to.

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