Page 135 of Mistaken Intention

He stands up again, staring down at me, his mouth slightly open. “Y—You’re what?”

“I’m leaving. I’ve got some vacation time owing, and I’d like to take it now, rather than giving notice.”

“You mean, you’re resigning?”

“Yes.” How many ways does he need me to say it?

“This is all very irregular, Nurse.”

“I know, but I’ve been told you’ve hired a replacement for me, so I’m hardly causing you a problem, am I?”

“And what about Mr. Bennett?” he says. “What about your duty to him?”

I feel the prickling of tears behind my eyes and blink them away, swallowing down the lump in my throat. “I—I guess Hunter Bennett will be in touch with you. Or maybe he’ll hire a private nurse from somewhere else. I don’t know.”

“Hmm… and you obviously don’t think it’s your problem.” He shakes his head, disapproval pouring off of him. “I have to say, I’m disappointed in you, Nurse Emerson.” He walks back around his desk, sitting down and facing me again. “I’ve always thought you were one of our more caring and professional nurses. I’d expected better from you. But if this is your attitude to your patients, I think both we and they will be better off without you.”

That stings, more than he’ll ever know, but I just nod my head and get to my feet. “Can I take it I’m free to go?”

“You can. I’ll contact Hunter Bennett myself and suggest a couple of private nursing agencies he could get in touch with.At least that way, one of us will be looking after the patient’s interests.”

I suppose I ought to thank him, but I can’t speak, and instead I just leave his office, closing the door softly behind me. I’m so ashamed, so overwhelmed with crippling guilt, it’s hard to put one foot in front of the other, but I have things to do… and I need to get on.

I wander down the hall, barely aware of my surroundings, knowing only that I need to clear my locker before I can go home. I called in at my apartment before coming here, just to drop off my bag and check my mail… and to cry for a little while, by myself, but I couldn’t afford to delay, any more than I can now.

I’ve already decided I’m leaving town… and I’m going to do it today. Selling my apartment can wait a while. At least until I’ve settled somewhere new. I don’t know where I’m going yet, but I’ve got some savings, so I can afford to rent a small apartment, and nursing jobs are fairly easy to come by, so I have no doubt I’ll find something… somewhere.

My sight is blurred, but I know my way to the nurse’s lounge and let myself in, grateful that I haven’t met anyone I know, and that there’s no-one in here, either. The gray walls match my mood, but I don’t have time to dwell. I brought a couple of bags with me from my apartment and I pull them from my purse, going over to my locker and opening it as I let out a sigh. I’m starting to wish I hadn’t stored quite so many things here now, but there’s no point in wishing, is there? Let’s face it, if there was any point in wishing, Drew would still love me, and I wouldn’t be here at all.

No. Wishing doesn’t get you anywhere. It just makes life hurt more.

I square my shoulders, trying to pretend the pain in my chest isn’t threatening to bring me to my knees, and I stare at the contents of my locker.

I occasionally take a shower here, so the top shelf is loaded with shampoo, a couple of deodorants, and body wash. There’s a tub of hand cream at the back, and a toothbrush and tube of toothpaste. I dump them all into one of the bags, along with the hairbrush and pack of spare hair ties. My hand is shaking, partly because I’m rushing, but mostly because Doctor Sweeney’s words are ringing around my head, torturing me. Everything he said was completely deserved, but that didn’t make it any easier to hear… or to keep hearing, on repeat, over and over… and over.

The door opens, slamming against the wall behind it, making me jump and I turn, letting out a yelp of surprise when Drew strides into the room, a little out of breath, followed closely by Hunter.

“There you are. Thank God…” Drew comes closer, shaking his head, his eyes locked on mine. “We tried your apartment, and you weren’t there, but other than here, we couldn’t think where else to go.”

“Wh—What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you, of course,” he says, staring down at the bag in my hand. He frowns, his eyes darting up to mine again. “What’s going on?”

“I’m packing my things.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve quit my job, and I’m leaving town.” I turn around, grabbing my small notebook from the top shelf of my locker. “If I hurry, I can leave tonight.”

“And go where?”

I turn around again to find that, although Hunter is still standing just inside the door, Drew has moved much closer,his body just a few inches from mine, the heat and confusion pouring off of him.

“A—Anywhere.”

“You’re so desperate to get away from me, you’ll go anywhere?” he says and I look up into his eyes, struggling to breathe as he reaches out and takes the notebook from my left hand and the bag from my right, and drops them to the floor. Then he steps even closer, so we’re almost touching, and I gaze up at his troubled face. “I’ve never been to anywhere, Josie. The way my brain is right now, I wouldn’t remember, even if I had. But if you go there – wherever it is – I’ll follow you. I’ll find you, and I’ll bring you home.”

My mouth drops open, a slight choke escaping my lips. “Y—You… you…”

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