Page 76 of The Preacher's Bride

Pain ripped through his chest as he held onto the counter. Then, he pushed away and followed her outside. Mia was kneeling in the snow and her shoulders were shaking. She was crying. He bit his upper lip with his hands on his hips, realizing that he had done this. He didn’t even let her get in the door before he started in on her. This wasn’t him.

He walked over and placed a hand gently on her shoulder. “Mia, I’m sorry. Come on in and let’s talk about this.”

“No!” Mia whipped around, and tears were streaming down her face. “You don’t want to talk! In fact, those were the first words that you said to me all week!”

“Well, I haven’t said anything to you because you haven’t been here!” he yelled.

“I haven’t been here because you won’t talk to me!”

Caleb threw his hands up in the air. “You really want to do this out here… in the snow?”

She swiped a hand across her face. “I don’t want to argue in front of the children.”

“Oh, that’s rich!” he said. “You don’t even spend time with the children!”

“Stop it, Caleb!” she said as tears rolled down her cheeks. “You don’t love me! You love Jessica! I don’t evenfeellike I’m your wife! You said you wanted a wife, but you already have one!” She let her hands fall to her sides, defeated as tears streamed down her face. “I can’t compete with a ghost. I need to be loved, Caleb.”

Caleb froze, watching her with his mouth open, knowing that what she said was true. “Mia, I’ve tried—”

“You’ve tried?” She screamed. “You haven’t tried at all! I’ve been the only one trying! You want a babysitter for the children and a maid for the house, all dressed up to look like a wife! But you don’t want a wife. Not really.” She stood close to him. “You already have one.” Then, she walked past him and stormed into the house.

Caleb placed his hands on his hips as he looked up at the darkening sky and then let out a deep breath. He walked in and knocked on her bedroom door, knowing she was in there. “Mia, come out. Let’s talk.”

She was crying on the other side of the door.

“Mia, I’m coming in.” When he heard no answer, he opened the door, and she was sitting on the edge of the bed with her head buried in her hands. He let out a deep breath, and then knelt down in front of her and placed his hands on her legs. “Mia, you’re right.”

She raised her tear-streaked face until her eyes met his.

He let out a deep breath. “I haven’t been fair to you… and I’m sorry.” He rubbed the top of her leg in a soothing gesture, but she stood and walked to the other side of the room, folding her hands across her chest. He sat on the bed. “Mia, let’s talk.”

She shook her head. “You don’t want to talk. You just want to yell.”

Caleb stood. “I’m sorry.” Then he walked toward her, but she pulled away.

Tears sprang to her eyes once more. “Caleb, you need to let go of Jessica.”

Anger suddenly filled his chest. “You want me to forget her?”

Mia shook her head. “No, I don’t. But you need to let go of her so you can move on.”

“Iammoving on.”

“No, you’re not.” Tears slowly ran down her cheeks. “And as long as you hold onto her so tightly, how can there be a chance for us?”

Caleb let out a deep breath. “There is no us.”

Mia nodded. “Thank you for clarifying it for me. Please leave my room.”

Caleb looked into her eyes for a long time and nodded. “Yeah, okay,” he said as he turned toward the door with his back to her. “Mia, you’re right. I want to let go of Jessica, but I just can’t. She’s a part of me… of who I am. Please, understand.”

“I do understand. That’s the problem.”

Then, he walked out and closed the door behind him.

Caleb finished making dinner. During dinner, Shane asked where Mia was, and Hailey asked for Ma. Caleb lied, telling them that she wasn’t feeling well, although he was tempted to tell them that she wasn’t their mother. Their mother had died. But he just didn’t have the strength, and he could never be that cruel.

The night wore on, and he was sitting by the fire, drinking a cup of coffee, when Mia walked out. Her eyes were glossy from crying as she wrung a handkerchief in her hand and headed straight for the children’s bedroom. She froze at the door as she peeked in, and then walked in.

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