Page 31 of Inked Athena

“We can’t stay on this yacht forever.”

I start to turn away from her, but she catches my arm. Her hand slides to my face. “I know this is overwhelming. I know it’s scary?—”

“I’m not scared.”

“Well, I am,” she insists, her voice shaky. “Things feel so much realer now. There’s no going back. We’re going to be parents, Sam. A family. And it’s not like either of us have a working blueprint of what a happy, healthy family looks like.”

“This is a great pep talk,” I drawl sarcastically. “I feel much better.”

She drops her hand, brows knit together. “I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you.”

“By pointing out that neither of us knows what the fuck we’re doing?” She opens her mouth to say something, but I pull away from her. “You must be tired. Go lie down.”

“Sam!” she cries, but I don’t stop.

Because if I stop, I might just say more shit I’ll regret later.

Shit like,Why the fuck did I think I could do this?

Why the fuck did I think I could be someone’s father?

Why the fuck did I think my past was finished with me?

Nova doesn’t follow me above deck, and she stays out of sight for most of the evening.

Fucking fantastic. Not only have I psyched myself out of what should be the happy delirium of impending fatherhood, I’ve also scared away the mother of my child.

Because I can’t just accept something good.

I can’t just be fucking happy without calculating the thousands of ways it could all be snatched away from me.

I prop my elbows on my knees and drag my hands through my hair. I don’t know the first thing about what it takes to be a father. Short of wrapping my child in a plastic bubble and locking them in a steel bunker, I have no idea what it takes.

What the fuck was I thinking?

“Can I join you?”

I glance over my shoulder to find Nova standing behind me. She’s barefoot, dressed in a sheer blue cover-up that doesn’t cover up much of anything.

“Knock yourself out.”

She slides onto the lounge chair beside mine and rakes her hair over one shoulder. “Have you finished making all your arrangements? Is the penthouse decked out with a shark-infested moat and a death ray?”

“Not yet, but I’ll add those to the list.”

She smiles, but there’s an edge to her smile, a sadness in the tilt of her eyes. “Can we talk now?”

I sigh. “You talk; I’ll listen.”

She fidgets for a moment, like maybe she regrets coming out here to start this conversation. I wonder if she’ll turn back. But then she draws in a big breath, straightens her posture, and blurts out, “I’m scared, too.”

She lets those words hang in the salty air between us for a long few seconds. “I’m so happy about this baby, Sam—but I’m terrified, too. I mean, my mother left me. Will I wake up one dayand regret this? Will I change my mind and abandon my child the way my mother abandoned me?”

“No.” I know I’m supposed to be listening, but I can’t bite my tongue. “No, you won’t. I know you, Nova Pierce. You’re protective and loyal. You’re devoted to a bunch of flea-bitten dogs you barely know. Our child is going to have your entire heart and soul.”

“And I knowyou, Samuil Litvinov.” She reaches across the gap between our chairs to touch my wrist. “You’re not your father. You would never do to a child what he did to you.”

Her hand grazes up and down my arm, giving me comfort I don’t deserve.

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