Page 30 of Inked Athena

It’s not usually men like me.

“Sam?”

Nova’s voice cuts through the jarring, unpleasant turn my thoughts have taken. I give her a tight smile and then usher the doctor to the upper deck and onto the transport boat.

I watch the boat glide through the water, reaching the shore, and I wonder if maybe Nova and I should stay here on this ship forever. Maybe I should tell Oleg Pavlov to fuck off when he comes to reclaimThe Sofia. This little bubble is mine now. It’s where I’ll keep Nova and our child safe—away from the world, my past.

But when I close my eyes, even the bright, clear sun and open skies can’t shake the troubling images from my head.

Images of the dank kennels and damp forests where my father taught me lasting, lingering lessons.

That’smy picture of childhood.Thatis what I know about what it means to be a father.

Nova being pregnant is good news. I want this.

So why the fuck can’t I envision a world where this doesn’t all end in disaster?

Gritting my teeth, I head back downstairs to Nova. I find her standing in front of the porthole, looking out at the ocean with her arms wrapped around her body.

She turns when the door clicks closed. “Are you okay?”

I clear my throat. “The doctor is returning to the mainland, but I’ll bring him back if you need anything. Just say the word, and he’ll be on this boat for good.”

Her eyes are fixed on me, searching. “Areyouokay?”

I thought so. I was.

Now? I don’t know.

That wholesome image of children thronging underfoot, of sundresses and soft smiles and bedsheets fluttering in sunlit breeze… I can’t find it anymore.

All I see is darkness in the back of a cage.

All I hear is barking.

Loud, angry, endless barking.

“Of course I am.” Or at least, I should be. I want this. I want this so fucking much. “But I have to make some calls.”

“What calls?”

“I need to get things organized in Chicago. Make preparations.” The energy zipping through my veins suddenly has purpose, and I cling to it. “Now that it’s certain we have a baby on the way, I need to make sure I can keep you both safe no matter where we’re at.”

Nova’s mouth slants down in a frown. “And you have to do that right now?”

“I should’ve had it done already.”

“It’s not like we knew this was going to happen,” she says cautiously.

“But I should’ve had a plan,” I grit out. “We knew it was a possibility. I need to be ready.”

“I don’t think anyone is ever ready to be a parent.” She lets out a soft laugh like this is funny.

“Other people don’t have enemies like I do, Nova. I can’t afford to take any of this lightly.”

She gestures to the wood-paneled walls surrounding us. “We’re floating around on forty million dollars of security. I know you aren’t taking this lightly. But we have time to celebrate. This is good news, Sam. I’m happy. Aren’t you happy?”

I want to reach out and hold her so much, but the longer I look at her, the more I feel that missing piece of my heart. I feel how weak I am—how vulnerable.

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