Page 134 of Bonding with the Beta

I am a wreck, Kayden. I am not good for you. I have baggage. I have so much fucking baggage, and I can’t ruin you.

Kayden:

Ruin me? Kayleigh, I don’t care about your baggage. I am in love with you. You have your moments, everyone has their moments, do you think that’s stopped me from seeing every little good thing about you?

No, it hasn’t

For the first time in days, my eyes prick with tears. I sniffle.

Kayleigh:

I’m sorry. I can’t do this. I can’t

Kayden:

I know you’re not thinking straight right now, and I know you’re confused, but I know deep-down you want to be with me. I know what we have is real. I know you feel it when you’re with me. If you need more time, I will give you time

I cannot stomach the pain of shutting him down again. So, I push it to the side.

Kayleigh:

Okay

Then I lock my phone and place it down beside me.

Kayden is too good for me. Anyone can see it.

Why can’t he see the bad in me?

Why can’t he see how easily I self-destruct the second something goes wrong?

Why can’t he see that I’m ruined?

44

KAYLEIGH

Ithought pouring my heart out to Kayden and ending things would make me feel better, but it didn’t. I’ve been lying in bed for the past day, feeling empty and lost. My heart ached more and more each second, and the pain was nearly unbearable.

After ignoring and pushing my mum away for days, my stomach starts to growl, and for the first time in what feels like ages, I’m hungry. I sigh, push the covers off myself, and stand on weak legs.

I manage to take myself downstairs, a weird spark of motivation igniting my body. When I see my mother standing in the kitchen, she jumps at the sight of me.

“Kayleigh,” she exhales in surprise.

I don’t even attempt a smile. Her eyes study my face, and she steps closer, wrapping her arms around me. I press my head into her shoulder and allow her to hold me.

“I’m sorry,” I murmur. “I’m sorry for shouting at you.”

Her hand slowly rubs my back. “It’s okay, honey. I’m here.”

We stay like this for a while. I truly forgot the emotional power of a hug.

My mother pulls back and looks at me. “Do you want to talk?”

I nod slowly and pull my sleeves over my knuckles as I follow her to the living room, where we sit on the sofa. I wrap my arms over my knees and hug them close to my chest.

“What’s going on, Kayleigh-baby?” Mum frowns, and that nickname brings back memories of my childhood. Her hand rests on top of my knee. “Hmmm?”

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