Page 31 of Bonding with the Beta

“No, Kayleigh. I know you want to say it. So fucking ask me.”

“I already did.” I grind my teeth together and rise from the bed. “Who is Louisa?”

Josh’s jaw ticks. “A friend,” he brushes it off. “Just a friend. You’re acting like a psycho. I’m allowed to talk to other girls if I want to. It’s your problem if you think there is something going on.”

I never said he couldn’t talk to his friends, but talking to another girl more than a friend is completely different. I blink back the tears that pathetically start growing in my eyes when he stands up to grab his jacket.

“Josh,” I heave. “Wait. Can we talk about this? I don’t understand what the hell just happened.”

He scoffs. “Now you want to talk? I’m always second best to you.”

“That’s not true.” My lips tremble.

“I’ll see you later,” he mumbles before walking to my door and slamming it behind him, making me jump.

I bury my head in my hands. This arguing doesn’t stop. It’s pointless, yet I’m too scared to put an end to it. We’ve built ourrelationship, made friends, and bonded with different groups, and that will all be taken away if we break up.

This isn’t the Josh I know.

I cannot let this keep going on the way it is.

I fell in love with him.

I need to fix this.

I need to do something before it’s done forever.

“Kayleigh,”Evie whispers in my ear, snapping me back into reality.

I drop my pen onto the auditorium floor, causing my knee to jerk into the wooden desk. I mentally curse myself and reach forward to pick it up quickly.

“Are you okay?”

I force a smile. “Mhmm.”

She narrows her brown eyes at me as I attempt to focus on the lecture. Not that I’ve been listening. I zoned out ages ago. I try to write down some notes, but my hand begins to tremble.

“Come on,” she whispers again. “Let’s go.”

The one thing I love about Evie is that she instantly notices my discomfort.

Without thinking, I grab my stuff and pack it into my bag. I follow her out of the lecture theatre, keeping my head down until we get outside, and the crisp air whips me in the face.

I lean onto the cold brick wall behind me.

“I’m worried about you, Kay,” she expresses.

My head shakes. “I’m fine, Evie. I promise.”

“You don’t need to lie to me. I’m your best friend. Please, let me help you.” She drops her bag to the floor and rests on the wall beside me.

I keep my eyes forward, feeling her gaze on the side of my head. I sigh. I hate talking about this because it feels like old news, but I don’t want to end up like I was before.

“The last few weeks, I’ve been having flashbacks,” I admit. “I hate that they physically suffocate me. I want them to go away but they won’t.”

Evie is silent for a long moment. “You stopped going to your therapy sessions,” I hear her say, and I close my eyes in defeat. “I’m worried to death about you. Do you need to go back to the hospital, Kay? I can take you.”

I swallow thickly. “I’m not that bad,” I promise. “I just…I just–” I groan, frustrated I can’t express how I feel. “I’m just having a moment.”

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