Page 32 of Bonding with the Beta

She rubs my arm soothingly. “It’s okay.”

“I’ve been trying to block him out and everything that happened, but now it seems like it’s all I can think about. It reminds me how weak and pathetic I was,” I spit angrily at myself.

Tears threaten to spill, but I don’t let them fall.

“Hey.” She squeezes my arm. “You are not those things, okay?”

I finally turn to look at her. “But that’s all I feel when I think back to those times with him. Everything it led to. That moment of weakness that I’ll forever regret.”

“What exactly are you thinking about him?” she probes, and suddenly, I can’t face her. “He’s such a piece of shit, and you deserve so much better than him. He manipulated and gaslit you, Kayleigh. What you went through was emotional abuse.”

I quickly wipe my eyes before those stupid tears fall.

“What triggered it?”

My head rests back against the wall. “When I went to see Ava. I saw her and Jaxon. I saw the way he cares for her. Their love is so honest and raw. Everyone in the room could see it. Itmade me realise that the love I thought I experienced with Josh was toxic, and I allowed myself to endure it. For what? I’ll never experience anything like Ava and Jaxon have.”

Evie frowns and steps in front of me. “Why would you say that? One bad guy doesn’t mean all men are doomed. Josh is a dickbrain, yes. But that doesn’t mean they all are.”

I nod in agreement. “I know. But I can’t go through what I did before.”

“And you’ll find the person who looks at you the way Jaxon looks at Ava,” she says confidently. “I promise. I’m always here for you.Always.”

“Kayden came over the other day,” I blurt.

Evie’s eyes widen. “What?”

“I left one of my books at their house, and Kayden came over to drop it off.”

She pins me with a stare. “And…”

“And?”

“Did something happen between you guys?” Her brow arches.

“No! No. Nothing happened.”

Evie hums softly.

“He said we should hang out, though.”

“Oh?”

I roll my eyes. “Not like that. As friends.”

“We all know what happens when you hang out ‘as friends’.”

My lips press together. “Girls and guys can be friends without fucking, Evie.”

“Do you like him?” she asks.

I raise my shoulders. “I don’t know. I want to stick to my word of focusing on myself. I’ve met him like three times. I don’t know him well enough.”

“Well…” Evie trails off. “I’m not going to tell you what to do. If you want to hang out with him, hang out with him.”

“It might do me some good to get off campus and do something different for once,” I say. “Anytime I’ve been with him, my mind empties out and I’m distracted from everything else.”

Evie nods slowly. “I agree with getting off campus. But you guys have done bits, so there is obviously a physical attraction.”

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