Page 133 of Bonding with the Beta

I reach for my phone and gingerly hover over Kayden’s name. I need to end this now. I need to put it to rest and attempt to move on; otherwise, I’ll be rotting in bed for the foreseeable.

When my thumb presses the call button, I raise it to my ear and listen to it ring and ring until it goes to voicemail. The beep echoes inside my brain, and I pause for a moment.

“Hi,” I exhale. “I know you probably don’t want to talk to me.” I bite down on my lip and gather my thoughts. “I wanted you to know that I’ve gone back home and I don’t deserve you. I never have and never will. And I’m sorry for what I said. You deserve someone who accepts when someone cares for them, not someone who throws it back in their face.”

My eyes clamp shut, and I regulate my breathing.

“I’m really not in a good headspace right now. I wish I had the answers, but I don’t. I’m sorry. I never took anything you’ve done for me for granted, you know that?”

My heart feels like it’s about to explode.

“I wish I had my shit together, but you don’t deserve to carry my baggage along with me. You should find your mate. She would make you so happy. You deserve to be happy.”

Yet the thought hurts so badly that my chest feels like it’s gaping open.

“Just…thank you for everything. It was the best few months of my life,” I whisper before hanging up.

Kayden is too good for this world. One of a kind. A needle in a haystack. A winning lottery ticket. All of it. He is everything I’m not, and I want him to be happy—really happy.

If he has to deal with me and my past, that’s the last thing he’ll be.

My phone starts to ring from beside me. I gulp at the sight of Kayden’s name. Goosebumps rise on my skin, and I shake myhead. No. I can’t do this. I can’t hear his voice after pouring my entire soul out to him.

The call ends and starts again. Three times.

When I don’t answer any of the calls, I get a message.

Kayden:

Answer your goddamn phone now, Kayleigh.

One missed call.

Kayden:

I am not messing around. Answer the phone.

One missed call.

Kayden:

You cannot call me saying you’re in a bad headspace and not expect me to freak out. Tell me you’re okay.

My hands begin to shake.I owe him this. I can’t ignore him like I did before.

Kayleigh:

I’m okay

Kayden:

What is going on?

I decided to give you space because that’s what I thought you needed, and these last few days have been hell

Are you seriously breaking up with me?

Kayleigh:

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