Page 34 of Advice from a Sunflower

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“It means, once you make your mind up about something, there's no turning back. You decided that I was too much of a risk for you, so you did everything in your power to push me away.”

He's wrong. My entire teenagehood was centered around falling for the boy next door as he brought every other girl to her knees, his attention never truly directed toward me.

“If that's true, then why did you let Emma and all your friends treat me so horribly? Why would you let them run me out of town if you so desperately wanted a chance? Why didn't you come back for the iPod? Why did you marry her if you were so in love with me?”

Why are we arguing about a past that seems like eons ago?

He sighs, a deep crease digging between furrowed brows. “I have no idea.”

We let the silence blanket us for a few moments as the reality of our argument settles in. For the first time since my return, I let myself stare without regard to how it makes me look. I allow my eyes to roam his face the way I would before, noting the slight effects that time has had on him. Life has drained him, dragging down his happy features until they formed a permanent frown.

For a fleeting second, I let myself believe him. I accept the possibility that this broken man may have actually pined for me before, the same way I had for him, and I was just too blind to see it.

Would it have changed anything?

I can tell he's struggling with his next words, considering whether or not he should say them before he subtly shakes his head and spits them out. "I didn't bring you here so we could argue. I've made up my mind already. You're leaving no matter what, and I can't stop you."

"That's right."

"But I'm going to make sure leaving is the hardest thing you've ever done. Yesterday was only a taste, Mouse. You have no idea what you've done by coming back."

The waitress picks this moment to deliver our food, lingering a little too long in front of Eli to ask if there was anything else she could get him. I take the opportunity to let his promise sink in. His tone sends chills down my spine.

Because I can tell he means every word.

“I’m not looking for a second chance with you. I don't give a damn about whatever hang-ups you have back in your posh little life. If you stay, I'm taking what was mine to begin with and I'm going to make sure there's nothing left when I'm done.”

I swallow the lump in my throat. “And if I say no?”

He laughs. Actually laughs out loud, as if this is just a fun little joke. "You won't be saying no. You'll be begging for more."

Chapter 17

Eli

I told her I didn’t want a second chance with her. Explained how I'm going to destroy her, and then have her begging for more. That once we're through, there won't be anything left of her to give to Brad or any other guy who steps into her path from here until infinity.

And I will.

I want to bend her mouthy little ass over the table and show her what a shitty hand I’ve been dealt over the past seven years while she ran off and lived her dream. How cruel reality is for those of us who aren’t capable of creating entire universes to escape into. I want to shatter her idea of romance and teach her that the things she writes about in her books—the happily ever afters she polishes each story with—are all bullshit.

No one gets a happy ending, no matter how many she tries to write for herself.

I had no intention of our night taking the direction it did. I planned an impressive dinner at one of the nicest restaurants this shitty state has to offer. Made reservations ahead of time and insisted they set us up in a quiet corner, just in case she was as uncomfortable in crowded rooms as she had been before.

I wanted to make up for the fact that I got away from myself before issuing a proper warning. But something inside me snapped on the way over, when her annoying friend screeched into the phone about B-List Brad moving in with her. She tried to skate over the subject, and I knew it was on my account.

Then, she hangs up and tells me—in complete wonder and disbelief—that her book is being made into a movie. As if she couldn’t comprehend the possibility that something so amazing could happen to her. That she could ever have the talent to achieve such a thing.

The girl I once knew peeked out from the shadows and reared her familiar, insecure face.

And something in my mind disconnected from the present and plugged into the past. In an instant, we were teenagers again and she was the completely unattainable little mouse wandering the town, while I was the stubborn cat chasing her around. I don’t think I need to explain what happened next.

But I will.

I acted like an asshole and she accepted it as if she had deserved that kind of treatment. Which pissed me off.

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