Page 13 of Advice from a Sunflower

I don’t even have to think about it. “No. I’m more afraid of being stuck here than anything else.”

I look over at his still form, trying to put the pieces together between the boy I grew up with and the young man that’s lying beside me right now.

Whyis he lying beside me right now, anyway?

He sighs, his chest slowly lifting and falling before he turns his head to look at me. “Just promise you won’t forget us out here.”

We share a look before I have to turn away, casting my gaze back up to the sky to avoid his burning stare.

How does he always do this to me? Why do I let him get to my head every time we speak?

“I could never forget The Hollow,” I finally whisper, braving a glace back in his direction.

He’s still turned toward me, dark brown eyes taking me in as he considers my words and whatever meaning lies behind them.

It’s the truth. Regardless of how fast I want to get out of this town, it’s a part of me. It’s in my blood. Every person and place I encounter will be compared to the little corner of the world that I’ve called home for the past eighteen years. Every man will be compared to the boy I consider my first love. I just can’t get the words out to tell him that.

“Good. I don’t think we’ll ever be able to forget you either, Mouse.”

My eyes fall to his plump lips as they lift in a smile, and I’m teased with the promise of something I’ll never have. That mouth will never be mine. This boy will always break my heart, no matter how hard he might try not to.

“What’s putting that look on your face?” he asks, bringing his hand between us to wipe a stray tear from my eye.

I keep my lips held in a tight line, fighting against the words that want to come out. Now isn’t the time to finally begin speaking my mind. It won’t change anything, anyway. I’ll still leave tomorrow, and he’ll still be a million miles out of reach. My head moves in a negative shake, refusing to allow my mouth to speak, just in case the wrong thing escapes.

His entire face pulls down in a frown as he considers me. His eyes roam between my features, taking their sweet time to torture me. Eli always acts as if he’s got all the time in the world. He’s never in a rush; I’m never going fast enough. That’s why we work so well together, balancing out like yin and yang. Or, at least, we used to.

I blink and his forehead is resting against mine, pressed together as his hands grip my chin. I want to ask what the hell he’s doing. Does he realize it’s me he’s here with? Is he on some kind of hallucinogen? Surely, he isn’t in his right mind. But somehow my mouth has disconnected from my body and I can’t seem to get the words out.

Then he speaks, and I know there’s no way he’s mistaken me for someone else.

“Mouse,” he whispers, low and needy. I can feel his warm breath against my lips as he sighs again, peering back at me his grip on my face tightens.

I can’t move. Someone needs to pinch me. Or not. If this is a dream, I don’t think I ever want to wake up.

Hold on. Is Eli Wilson about to kiss me?

He is. Hedoes.

His soft mouth presses against mine, and my entire world stops spinning. The grass disappears from below us, taking our houses and the town right along with it. The sounds that were lingering in the background before from the main street are gone. We’re left floating in space, right along with the stars we were just gazing up at as his mouth moves against mine, owning me—possessing me.

If there was a chance I could recover from Eli before, it’s long gone. No man will compare to this. No kiss can compete.

I want to pull back and ask him why he’s doing this. Is it some sort of sick joke? Are Emma and Olivia waiting somewhere to bust out laughing and capture my embarrassed face? When is the shoe going to drop and reality going to suck me into its deep, black hole?

But at the same time, I want to savor it. Eli was mine first. Maybe not in the way I’ve always wanted, or the way he’s allowing me to own him now. The fact still remains—I saw him first. I’ve wanted to spread my claws and bare my teeth to Emma since the moment she stepped into our little bubble, snarling in her own possessive way. I’ve wanted to stomp my feet and whine to him that we were friends before anyone ever bothered with him. It wasn’t fair that he chose them.

That isn’t me, though. And if it were, it wouldn’t matter because beyond Emma, there’s still his attraction to Marnie, and I wasn’t ever going to position myself in a competition with my own sister over a boy. Even if that boy is what I consider to be perfect. Even if his kisses—which I’m so delightfully soaking up right now—are pure perfection. Even if it always feels like we are connecting on a level beyond everything else.

Eli briefly pulls away and his eyes slowly open. There’s a question in them, but I can’t figure out what it might be in the lusty haze surrounding us.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” he whispers. He’s still so close, I can feel his warm breath dancing across my tingling lips.

I feel the exact same way, but I don’t respond. I know that nothing I say could ever do my feelings any justice. And I’m still skeptical. Regardless of how right this all feels, I can’t shake the thought that there’s more to this than Eli’s raw desire.

His hand, which has somehow found itself draped around my hip, moves up and down my leg in a soft caress, lightly brushing against the exposed skin where my dress has slightly ridden up. My mind goes blank.

All I can see is the chestnut hue in his irises. All I can feel are his fingers and the soft tingle they leave behind each time they slide back and forth.

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