Page 131 of Your Soul to Keep

Nan used to talk about how poor they were when they emigrated from Ireland with their baby boy. She smiled when she reminisced about how scared they were. How they had only each other to depend on.

That man pulled me through every bad thing that ever happened to us.

She laughed when she told me about the time she emptied a glass of icy water over him when he was in the shower. It so startled him that he ripped the shower rod and curtain clear off the wall.

She giggled over the flowers he bought that gave her an allergic reaction and sent them to the ER.

Her face softened as she remembered sleeping with their feet intertwined every single night, even when one or both were mad as a hornet.

Hunting down his wallet and keys every morning.

Quickies in the back office of Ayana’s.

His favorite shorts he refused to throw out until the waistband gave out and they dropped to his ankles when he was working in the front yard.

How she hated zucchini bread to this day after the summer he grew them as big as her leg. She laughed as she remembered pawning them off on the neighbors before he came home from work.

The sunflower seeds that reminded her of days at the ballpark when my dad was a boy, Grampy standing along the fence, chomping on them nervously while he cheered my dad on.

A million tiny drops of light.

A most beautiful life.

Not perfect.

But beautiful just the same.

After my shower, I wandered into my room and sat down at Nan’s vanity.

“I messed up, Nan,” I whispered, looking in the mirror.

I could see her, faintly, in the lines and contours of my face. I looked like my dad, but my dad looked like Nan.

I had her coloring as well.

But I had my mother’s eyes.

I picked up the delicate pink perfume bottle and pried off the top. Holding it to my nose, I inhaled. I could barely remember her face, but I could feel her love.

Sure, no one ever really leaves.

Carefully replacing it, I pressed my palms flat on the table and pushed to my feet.

I had phone calls to make.

Boxes to buy.

Memories to keep.

Nan’s voice rang my head, “Don’t be standing there with your two arms the one length. Get busy.”

I spent the rest of the morning and the better part of the afternoon making calls. When I finally put down the phone, I did so knowing there would be no going back for me.

No going back for any of us.

Gabe asked for a few days, and that was all I intended to give him.

That being the case, I called Bridge.

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