Page 121 of Chosen Beta

I smack my fist down on the table, and feeling it connect makes everything snap into focus.

I’ve been in pain ever since I walked away from them. It’s a wound that cut so deep all I could feel whenever I thought about the past was toxic, bitter rage.

I never allowed it to heal. I just tried to forget it was there.

“They weren’t good people. They never deserved you. Not one little bit. And they didn’t throw you away. You walked away. You knew you deserved better. You need to try to let the past go, Owen. It’s been stalking you like a dark cloud ever since we met.”

“I don’t know how to let it go,” I mutter, wishing I did.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he says, putting his hands over my fist. “Say it.”

I frown at him, but I can tell he’s serious.

“I don’t …”

“Just try, for me, please?”

Ugh.This feels stupid.

“It wasn’t my … It wasn’t …” I start, feeling my throat close up every damn time I start.

What the hell?

Ezra looks worried for a fraction of a second, before he manages to shoot me a fake-ass smile.

“It’s okay,” he says, calmly. “It’s not something you need to fix overnight.”

“Are you sure about that? Pete seems pretty desperate to make sure we tell Lana she’s our mate as soon as possible.”

“That’s just how Pete is. He has no patience. It’s not … He can’t really help that, after the whole prison thing.” Ezra lets my hand go, almost as if he can tell I’m not comfortable.

Sometimes I think he’s part Omega.

“Fine, I’ll forgive Pete for his impatience. He went through that shit to save Shadow’s life. I’ll never forget that.”

It doesn’t mean I can feel right about claiming Lana as a mate.

I know she’s ours, but she can’t fully be mine until I’ve dealt with the anger I have over my past.

Ezra sees that, and I see it now, too.

“In the meantime …” he starts.

“In the meantime, we keep Lana safe, and make sure we catch the guy who’s been targeting her,” I finish for him. “We can talk again once that’s done.”

He doesn’t look completely happy with that answer, but for now it’s the best I can do.

He gets up. “Okay. I have to get back to work.”

“Me too.”

Chapter Forty-Three

Shadow

Fifteen minutes spent sitting on the filing cabinet in Lana’s office is enough to drive me slowly mad. She’s right next to me, and she looks so good. She makes sexy little sounds when she breathes in my perfume and reacts to it.

I don’t even think she realizes she’s doing anything, but I feel every little spike of lust that rises inside her with each inhale.

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