Lisa, give me a call. It’s been months since you’ve answered a call for longer than a quick ‘hello, sorry I’m busy and have to go’. Your father and I are worried about you. Please call me back.
Lisa hit the delete on the phone and sat it down on the desk sighing as she studied the latest projection on her laptop. She was trying her best to focus on her work and ignore the worry about Abby being out with David and Jazz on her crutches. She knew David wouldn’t let her overdo it or get hurt, but she still worried. Her phone rang again, and she saw her dad’s information appear on the screen. She didn’t want to talk to any of them and hit the decline letting it go to voicemail as she got up and looked out the window.
She was feeling blue and knew exactly why, although she told herself that it was just leftovers from Abby’s accident. It was far more than that and deep inside she knew it, knew that she’d never be able to get through this day the same again. She let out a sigh and moved to her bedroom, changing clothes before grabbing her handbag and heading out. There was no way she’d ever be able to face tonight sober. Abby was spending the night with Jazz completely unaware of her mood and it meantthat she could go out and drink without worrying about being responsible.
She headed downtown, stopping at the first place she came to and moved to the bar as her phone rang yet again. She didn’t bother looking at the display this time, she knew who it was by just the ringtone, and it took everything inside her to not answer. She desperately wanted to, but it wouldn’t be wise to hear his voice—not tonight. She heard the alert tone announcing the voicemail message and she sat the phone down in front of her on the bar and stared at the screen, willing herself to be stronger than this. She lost the fight and hit the icon to listen to the message, leaning her arm onto the bar and resting her head on it.
Lisa…I shouldn’t be doing this…I’ve forced myself to not call you a million times the last five months, especially after your brother came looking for you, but tonight…I can’t do it. I can’t stop from trying tonight. Last year on this very night, I met the woman who stole my heart then tore it to shreds. I should hate you. I’ve tried to hate you, but I can’t. I don’t care what you give me in return; I will take anything because I’m dying without you. I will give you anything in the world—do anything you want because I don’t care. To hell with the company, screw what the world thinks of me, all I want is you back. Come home to me baby—come home Lisa, please…
She bit the inside of her lips, feeling the tears as the message ended. She’d give anything to be able to go back to him, but she couldn’t, she couldn’t do that and keep Abby safe. She set her phone back down and closed her eyes trying to stop herself from picking it up and calling him just to hear his voice more.
“Looks like you could use a drink—what can I get you?” a voice questioned, and she lifted her head towards the bartender.
“Vodka tonic,” she said turning the phone over to make it easier to keep her resolve in place.
“Ice?”
“No, no ice—and make it a double, actually you can hold the tonic and just give me the vodka,” she stated knowing it wouldn’t be smart but to hell with being smart right now.
“I know that look,” the woman said filling up a glass for her. “Man troubles?” she asked when her phone rang again, and she tightened her hands slightly to stop from picking it up.
“My ex…tonight’s the anniversary of when we met, best night of my life.”
“Well stay strong sugar, if he’s an ex he’s an ex for a reason, right?” the woman said filling up her glass again at her nod after she’d tossed it back. “Give me a shout if you need another.”
“Will do,” Lisa said letting the woman head over to take care of the others as she turned her stool around and looked out at the people in the place. They all seemed to be enjoying themselves far more than she was, and she wished she could be carefree and happy again. She wished for a lot of things, the least of which was to have Corey with her again, but that was impossible, and she had to move on entirely.
Lisa turned back to the bar and lifted her phone, seeing the second ring had been a text message instead of another call. She pulled up the message and saw the photo attached to it. Their smiling faces made her shake her head as she stared at it, the hurt enough that she tossed back the rest of her drink and asked for another.
She let the night wear on and moved stools as jerks came up to hit on her. She didn’t want anyone new in her life. She just wanted what she couldn’t have. She pulled up the photo album of her and Corey she had on her phone and flicked through them remembering that first incredible night, the difference in what she’d felt during it compared to others she’d known. Those differences had simply increased during their months togetherand she sighed, looking for the bartender for another drink before she called him back.
“Honey, no man is worth all this pain. Forget the fool and move on, if he wasn’t good enough for you once he’s not going to be good enough for you again,” she offered as she refilled her glass.
“He was good enough; hell, he was perfect. I was the one who ended it, who couldn’t believe it’d work. Six months and I refused to even let him tell people we were together…then I left.”
“And he’s calling you still?”
“First time since I moved,” she admitted. “He said he’d take anything I’d give him—and he would. I just can’t give him what he wants.”
“What’s that?”
“My heart—I can’t do that without telling him the truth and he wouldn’t want it then. Actually, that’s not true, I think even then he would still want it; I just can’t do it. I can’t tell him what I refused to back then—I just can’t.”
“Honey, if you couldn’t, you wouldn’t be sitting here downing shots to try and stop from thinking about him. You would be with someone new who didn’t care. Loyalty in a man is rare; if he’s offering it, take it. Whatever you think, you can’t tell him I guarantee you can, and I don’t think you need half a bottle of vodka to do it. Call him; if he’s not in town then it should be easier to tell him the truth.”
“I don’t think it would be,” she stated thinking about it as the woman walked away again. She downed the drink and put her phone back down when she saw the bottle appear.
“I’m cutting you off after this one,” she heard, the voice a deep timber instead of the woman’s and her head popped up as her heart stopped.
“What the hell?”
“You keep walking into my bars on this night baby,” Corey said pulling her from the chair. He slid his arm around her and pulled her against his body, his other hand pushing deep into her hair as his mouth lowered to hers, kissing her, drinking in her scent and taste.
“Well, I guess I was wrong, seems like you have moved on,” the bartender said with a chuckle putting the bottle back.
“What was that about?” Corey asked, breaking off the kiss to stare down into her beautiful face.
“I broke up with someone recently,” Lisa lied. “The sex wasn’t what I craved after you I guess.”