Page 66 of Forced Knocked-Up Mate

“That he really is your true love.”

“How can that be? He just ran away from me.”

“Because he’s afraid,” Amanda answers. “He’s not just afraid of this not being his choice; he’s afraid of settling into life with you.”

“But he did. We were doing great together. I know we were.”

“And he has never had that kind of safety or security, ever before,” she reminds me, brushing my hair back from my face. “He’s terrified of being truly happy for the first time in his life because he would have too much to lose.”

My sobs have settled down, even though tears are still running down my cheeks. I lean into Lucy, letting her comfort me.

“So, what should I do?” I ask. “You’re telling me he’s going to come back, but what do I do when he does?”

“Be patient,” she answers. “Just be honest with him and give him plenty of space. Remember the person he was when he was truly with you, and know that is the man he could be—if you support him enough to help him change.”

“That’s the thing,” I whisper, staring into the forest where Peter disappeared. “I don’t know how to let him back in again. What if we make up… then break up… and keep doing that over and over? I can’t take it, Amanda. I can’t live like that!”

“And no one should have to,” she agrees. “You’re right about that. You shouldn’t have to be the strong one and bear all the burdens. But what you do about it really is up to you.”

“I think I preferred it when I was under a spell,” I mutter, getting up off the ground.

Amanda chuckles. “Well, it certainly absolves both of you of any responsibility, doesn’t it? Just remember, the spell and the marriage vows only created an opportunity for the feelings to come out. It didn’t create them. Neither of you were forced or tricked.”

I shake my head. “But now I have to decide if I can trust him, and I don’t know if I can.”

“That means you never trusted him, Lucy. If you are going to be together, that’s the hurdle you need to pass.”

I shake my head, feeling tired, sick, and completely helpless. “I don’t think I can,” I murmur. “I really don’t think I can.”

Can my love for him outweigh my fear? The only thing I know right now is that I can’t handle this pain, and I never want to feel it again.

Chapter 22 - Peter

There is no thought in me, no emotion. I race through the woods, my legs moving so quickly, I can barely feel my paws drumming against the ground. My breath burns in my throat, and my heart pounds in my chest like it’s going to burst against my ribs.

Keep going, just keep going!

I have to prove the spell is broken, but more than that, I have to get away from Lucy. The last few days have been nothing short of hell, and I need to forget them.

I need to forget everything. All of this.

My muscles work even harder as I hit the steep ridge of the mountain. I’m definitely outside the reach of the spell now, and I feel no resistance or anxiety, just a fierce desire to get higher into the peaks, as far from people as I can get.

Even though I’m pushing myself so hard just so I can clear my head, images keep flashing through my mind, and I can’t stop them. The memories are sensory, engulfing me no matter how hard I try to push them away.

Lucy’s smile as she looks up at me first thing in the morning, and the joy it brought me. Soft sheets wrapping around us, sliding against my skin as I reach for her in the middle of the night. Crumbly dough on my fingertips, sugar on my tongue… and the sweet smell of fresh peaches.

Charging to an outcrop that angles out across the dangerous drop below, I throw my head back and howl. My sorrow peals into the cold sky and echoes around me, ringing off the peaks and coming back to me over and over again.

I lower my head, panting from exertion. My paws twitch as my wolf tries to make me flee straight back down the mountain and right into her arms.

She doesn’t want me! She couldn’t wait to break the spell! Over the last few days, she hasn’t come to me even once.

The pain raging inside me is fueled by the memories of the days we spent together as a happy couple. That bliss shattered for me when she told me her mentor was coming to break the tether, and the days that followed only brought me more doubt and pain.

But just now, in the clearing, she tried to hold on to me… and I ran.

The loss builds inside me until I have to throw my head back and howl again. I’ve lived alone for so long, a solitary rogue who doesn’t even deserve to howl his misery at an indifferent sky.

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