Page 53 of Love, In Balance

“Lista, what do you mean? Why haven’t you said anything?”.

I reach over to grab my phone from the side table, pull up the message thread from Pierce and let him read it. He holds my phone in one hand and covers his mouth with the other.

“Lista, why didn’t you tell me this was going on? He didn’t touch you before, did he?” he asks. Concern rushes over his features.

My face falls and I burst into tears further at his question.

I manage to speak in sentences, despite fluctuating between hiccupping and crying.

“He was the reason I had a panic attack at the faculty social. He approached me and made me feel disgusting because of the things he said about my outfit”. My lip begins to tremble as I hesitate to go on, but Drew gently lays his hand on my back, giving me the strength to continue.

“He touched me, squeezed my bum and…pushed his lower body against me. He was... hard. I could feel it. He kissed my neck too.” I put my palms over my eyes, rub until I see stars and then continue.

“He forced me to kiss him when we went on that trip with the guy’s early last year. I was crying, but he continued. He had me cornered. That same night, he snook into my room… I woke up early hours in the morning because… he had his fingers inside of me... I didn’t want to tell you because he’s your friend. I thought you’d think he was just joking around or that it was consensual. I didn’t want to seem like I was blowing the situation out of proportion.

He kept on saying that he was joking and when I’d react, he’d tell me I was overexaggerating. I assumed everyone else would think the same”.

Drews looks straight at me, eyes filled with tears, some fallingdown his face. He holds me again and whispers in my ear “I’m so sorry. I’m here now and I’ll never let this happen again”.

“Let’s get you into something more comfortable Lista”.

Drew moves a step back and helps me onto my feet before guiding me into my room. He hands me some soft loungewear before walking away, closing the door over.

“I’m making hot chocolate. Come out when you’re ready” he says, making me smile despite how I’m feeling.

I love him so much and I’m so grateful to have him in my life. I can see why Flic may very well be in love with him, even ifshedoesn’t even know it yet.

He’s the most beautiful soul, and I get to call him my best friend. My eyes fill with tears again, but they’re warmer and full of happiness and contentment. I know that I’m safe, and I can’t quite explain the impact it has on my body. It’s like I’ve unclenched my muscles for the first time in years. I’ve felt so lonely for so long. But now IknowI have people in my corner. I can’t help but want to hug the others and tell them how much I appreciate them.

Once I’ve gotten changed and taken my time to process what’s happened, I spend the rest of the evening drinking hot chocolate and watching reruns of New Girl with Drew and Flic.

He called her over whilst I was changing. I’m unsure of whether he called her for moral support for himself, or for me, but either way, it’s perfect.

Drew told the group what had happened, and I’ve never felt so protected in my entire life. They all messaged me, letting me know they were just a text away. Drew mentioned that Si actually shed a tear and almost punched something when he was told what had happened. Apparently he only settled when Drew assured him multiple times that I was ok and relatively unharmed.That sweet son of a bitch.

Flic cried with me when she walked into my flat and we made eye contact. She wrapped me in her arms, and we sat side by side on the sofa before settling down. They both stayed with me to help me feel safer.

It was exactly what I needed.

I couldn’t help but think of Quin this whole time still. Him and I, sitting together with blankets and hot chocolate. When Drew held me as I cried, I imagined it was Quin.

Even the way Drew and Flic look at each other takes my mind back to Quin. Never mind.

Chapter

16

Lista

Playlist:It’s Ok– Nightbirde live version

The weekend goes by quickly. I’ve stayed home, ordered in coffee and cake to treat myself, and I’ve taken time to heal. Since Drew has been working and couldn’t get here until late evening, Si has been around every day to check in with me, ensuring I have the right foods, drink and vitamins. You see, he does have a heart. It’s just super deep within and takes a while for an outsider to locate it.

When you do though, he’s a keeper. I’m pretty sure he’s resisting asking me if he can sleep at the foot of my bed like a guard dog. He really is intense when he cares.

Flic has even come over to have a few evenings of watching films which has been exactly what I’ve needed.

Drew ordered me a ring doorbell the night that shit went down with Pierce. He installed it the next day and hooked it up to my phone so that I never have to answer the door without knowing who’s there.

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