Page 47 of Love, In Balance

I walked out of the social because I was struggling. I felt uncomfortable.

Pierce:Was it Quin who made you feel uncomfortable? I saw him follow you outside x

Lista:No. He was helping me.

I don’t know why I’m defending Quin after what’s happened. But here we are.

Pierce:Well, I’m here to help you babe. You know that x

I don’t reply. How is he so blind to his own harassment against me? He seems to think it’s all some sort of flirtatious joke.

And yet he’s the only one in on it, but it isnota fucking joke to me.

After some well-deserved time spent where it’s safest; with myself and Edith, I decide to take the rest of the week off.

I email Professor Peters again and then decide I need to let Quin know about our session on Friday too.

Not that he’ll be bothered. I just know I can’t be dealing with him right now with how I’m feeling. And I need to keep as far away from Pierce as possible until I feel stronger.

Am I isolating myself?Yes, I am.

Is it necessary?In my opinion, yes. I don’t feel equipped enough to deal with social interactions other than with my cat right now, and my mental, emotional and physical wellbeing come before all else, so I’m doing what is best by me. Thanks. Bye.

Chapter

14

Quin

Playlist:‘Let her go’– Passenger

It’s been two days since I last saw Lista.

She’s been off campus since, and I have every reason to believe that I’m the main cause.

I acted like a fucking dick to her, and I hate myself for it, but one day I hope she’ll understand why I’m doing it.

I’m doing it for her.

Even though it’s killing me to stay away from her.

She needs to be respected by people without being seen with me. I can’t bear the thought of people thinking her achievements are somehow linked to who she knows rather than the incredible work she consistently puts in.

I know there’s something between us, but with Pierce threatening to talk shit about Lista, I’d rather deal with my internal pain and give Lista the best chance in her studies and career in STEM.

She deserves the world, and I’ll do everything I can behind the scenes to make sure nothing compromises that.

Last night I received an email from Lista, cancelling our study session. It broke me, but I respect her decision.

I just hope I don’t get taken from her research.

There’s really no reason for me to continue contacting her then. I really can’t imagine my life without her now that I’ve had a taste of life with her in it.

From:[email protected]

Subject:A quick update.

Quin,

---