Page 32 of Love, In Balance

Despite the holding back on my end, something beautiful does happen though. He asks me a question that means a lot to me.

“Lista. I just need to ask you something. As bizarre as it may seem to ask this. Are you ok with hugs?”.

My heart warms. I’m rarely asked by anyone about this. They just assume I’m happy with physical contact, and I’m too proud to say otherwise.

“I’m sorry if this is an awkward thing to ask, but I’m just so worried about making you feel uncomfortable, and if you ever need me in situations like earlier, the last thing I want to do is make you feel worse. I know some people feel worse when they’re hugged, so I guess I just want to hear it from you so I know how to be there for you in the best way I can”. A tear comes to my eye again.

“Quin, that’s really kind of you to ask. Usually, I don’t like hugs unless it’s from people I trust”. He puts his head down, sighing.Until I continue what I was saying.

“And I trust you Quin. When I realised it was your arms surrounding me earlier when I was panicking, I immediately knew I was safe. When I came around from the episode and saw you walking away, I needed to come back to you, hence why I came here. I needed you to know how safe I felt when you were with me”.

The next thing I know, he's moved closer to me and wrapped his arms around me.

I wrap mine around his and we melt into each other before he loosens his grip and leans his forehead against mine. Our faces are so close and my heart races.

I wish he’d grab my face and kiss me right here, but I think I’ve honestly had enough excitement for one day.

He pulls back and looks into my eyes. We hold each other’s gaze, but his eyes keep trailing down to my lips.

He looks pained and hungry, as though he’s struggling to keep himself at bay, but pulls away, looking down.

It’s a good job he has it all together, because my mindset right now is not the steadiest and I may do things I regret.

Although I’d love to sink into him even more and lose myself to his big, warm body, I have so many things that need to be considered. Right now is not the time to do so.

Not after everything that has happened today.

So I also pull back and lift my mug, finishing off my hot chocolate. The calming music setting the scene.

I leave shortly after, full of confusion from everything about today.

Chapter

9

Lista

Playlist:The Only Exception- Paramore

It’s Saturday.

I’m thankful to be at work, occupied, so that I have little time to actually think about what happened yesterday at the faculty social.

I left Quins late last night and practically collapsed onto my bed. Being in Quins arms made me feel like I’d found my safe place, but I’m trying not to think about it too much.

He is my lecturer after all and he’s so quick to make sure personal relationships stay away from campus.

It still doesn’t stop me wanting to be around him all the time though. I’m just finishing off the last few bits at my part-time job. I’ve been helping fix some machinery and perform maintenance tasks.

It’s been a rather sweaty day so far and I’ve been pretty hands on since I’m one of the only engineers on site today. It’s kept my mind from spiralling though, so all is good.

I clock off at 1pm thankfully. I know what you’re thinking. Lucky you, finishing at 1pm. Give me a break.

It’s Saturday and I’ve been at work since 5am. Aftereverythingthat happened yesterday.

I’m mentally and physically exhausted, and I still have to work through a long ass session with Quin this afternoon.

I open my phone to message Quin and see a text update about a parcel being delivered.

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