Page 43 of Losing his Daddy

“Can you tell me about the other triggers? I don’t want to do or say something that might send you to a place like you’ve been today. If it’s too much, though, it can wait. I won’t push.”

Gerald’s gaze turned away from me as he hummed. “It’s not really work appropriate information. You’re my boss. I’d just be doing what I did all over again.”

Fuck.

He’s right. Partially anyway.

Because it is far too similar to his past, only I’m not in the closet, and I would never hide him. If anything, I’m the one to shout my relationships from the rooftops. I’ve already proven I can’t go a day without seeing him if today was any indication. I mean, I called the cops to file a missing person report when it could have been that he was just out running errands or something.

I jolted as Gerald pulled away from me. He shifted until there was a small gap between us. It felt like a giant fucking rift, though I knew he was still within arms' reach.

“If I tell you, things will change. You’ll think differently of me.”

I shook my head. “No, I won’t. There is literally nothing you could say that would change how I feel.”

As I watched him and waited, his gaze swung to the windows. It took a few minutes for him to find whatever courage heneeded. I wondered what could possibly be so bad that he thought I’d shame and shun him.

With a deep breath, he quietly said, “Clancy was my Daddy. We participated in a kink relationship.”

I couldn’t help the smile that came. “I’m sorry, Gerald.”

“Sorry?” He questioned.

My hands itched to pull him close again. This conversation, this entire situation, had my dominant side working in overdrive. I barely held myself in check.

“Yes, I’m sorry you had to live a life where you weren’t cherished the way you should have been. Being a Daddy is more than just a title. There is a trust that comes with giving someone complete submission. It doesn’t have to be broadcasted to everyone around you, but to go through what you did…” I paused and shook my head. “I really am sorry.”

The tears I’d seen building earlier washed down his cheeks. “I don’t even know what to say to that. I thought you were going to think I was weird. That you’d tell me to get out or something.”

Unable to hold back a second longer, I reached over and took his hand in mine. “I would never say that. There are much kinkier things in this world than a little Daddy kink. I know a guy who loves knives a bit more than the average person. Still not judging him, just like I won’t judge you.”

Gerald tilted his head to the side. “What are you?”

I chuckled. “That’s an interesting question.”

He blushed, then covered his face. “That’s not — I meant to ask how you know all this stuff. What do you know about kink?”

Seemed like it was my turn to get in the hot seat. I tugged him closer until we were touching again, though he wasn’t quite in my lap like I wanted.

“I’m a Dominant and hold membership with a local kink club. A friend of a friend runs it, which I didn’t know initially. I’ve always been more attracted to the dynamic kinkrelationships offered. Over time, the lifestyle became less about bedroom only activities and shifted into more 24/7 practice.”

His head leaned against the back of the couch as he stared unabashedly over my features. I wasn’t sure what he was looking for, only that I hoped the answer I gave was good enough to continue this. All of this. The talking, the closeness, the connection.

“I don’t know that I can be kinky ever again,” he admitted softly.

Instead of arguing against his point, I asked, “Why do you feel that way?"

“Because I could never call another man Daddy and trust him so blindly like I had before. I couldn’t be with someone who doesn’t want what’s best for me too. I want to be with a man who is proud to be mine and for me to be his. I can’t ever be another dirty secret.”

His pain was palpable. The agony tore through me, rewiring the way I saw our situation.

No matter what, there was one thing he had to know first. “Gerald, I’m not a Daddy Dom.”

I felt his jolt more than I saw it.

“Ok,” he answered.

“When I’m with a partner, I focus on them completely. They are the center of my world in a way that’s hard to describe. I want to ensure their health and safety above all else. And usually, I’m the type to show off more than hide. I won’t rent out a billboard or anything, but it’s painfully obvious to everyone around me when I’m with someone as more than a friend.”

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