Page 42 of Losing his Daddy

His eyes widened. “Couch?”

At the single word, I eased from under him, then scooped his dead weight up. I took us to the couch, where I eased us down, all the while keeping Gerald partially on my lap like he’d been in the bedroom. My gut said the more touch he had, the better he’d feel about sharing.

“Now then, let’s talk. Can you tell me what happened? I’d like to know from the beginning, please. You had me worried sick, Precious.” I couldn’t stop my hand from reaching up to cup his cheek. His head was leaning against me again, though those gorgeous eyes of his weren’t tucked away. Instead, his gaze was right upon me, searching and evaluating for what came next.

He cleared his throat, then motioned to the water on the table. I grabbed one of the bottles he always had lying around, then uncapped it. He drank half of it in one go, then sighed.

“That’s better,” he said carefully.

I smiled. “Yes, it is. You already sound better. Are you up for sharing still?”

His head bobbed, then I felt his hands on my shirt. I realized it was a nervous fidget. He didn’t look at it, and really, I didn’t think he was looking at me at all.

Gerald opened his lips and then began with a sentence I least expected. “Today was his birthday.”

His birthday? Who washe?And why was he so important to the man in my arms that he’d gone damn near catatonic at the simple thought of a birthday?

“Whose birthday?” I asked when he didn’t immediately continue.

“Clancy’s…”

And with that, he broke. The words poured out of him like he’d been waiting ages to share them with someone.

Chapter Seventeen

Weston

“Clancy Coleman ownedthe Coleman Ranch. He took me in when I didn’t have another solid option for employment. I later found out that was kind of his thing. He looked for those that the world had tried to run over and brought them on to help him keep his family’s ranch afloat.

“Over time, I proved myself to be really good at the work. I wanted to show him he hadn’t made a bad decision in hiring me. That, and I kind of had a bit of a crush on him. It didn’t matter that he was much older than me or that he was my boss. My brain couldn’t get over how good being around him made me feel.”

Gerald took another sip of water before continuing. As much as I wanted the story, I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like hearing about his infatuation with someone else.

Not that he was mine to be possessive of.

He picked back up telling his story while I pushed away my jealousy. “The relationship just kind of… happened. I don’t want to get into it too much because—anyway, he and I were together. But no one knew the boss was into men, so we kept it quiet. Over time, it morphed into more. There werethingsthat required more trust and patience. Through it all, we were a secret.

“It killed a part of me that he didn’t want the others to know. Still, I went along with it because I loved him so much. Then, one day out of the blue, he collapsed. I rushed him to the hospital, only to be told I couldn’t get any updates because I wasn’t family or important enough to be let inside.”

His eyes were burning brighter. Anger shone through his hurt, and I knew then that I’d give the world for this man. Gerald would never be just an employee again. He had my heart, whether he wanted it or not.

“When Clancy finally woke up, he told them all that I could be allowed in on the information. I stayed by his side every single day up until he took his last breath. And not once in all that time did he ever tell anyone else how much we loved one another. It was only after his death that they all confronted me about it. Ironically enough, they’d all known. The rest of the ranch hands didn’t feel it their place to mention it though.”

H gave a dark sort of laugh as he closed his eyes. When he opened them again, some of the fire had dimmed. In its place was apprehension.

“I lost so much of myself trying to be what he needed. After his death, I didn’t know who to be or what to do. I drank to numb the pain. Only, there never seemed to be enough.”

“Which is why you wound up at the facility,” I finished for him. The pieces of his story clicked into place, illuminating the entire dark picture of his heartbreak.

Gerald nodded softly. “When I finished rehab, I decided that the past had to stay in the past. Not for forever, but at least until I’m stronger. I’m not strong enough yet. There are too many triggers there.”

I rubbed along his back. “Is there anything here that triggers you?”

“Oh, gosh no! I love it here. It’s just… well, I didn’t realize what day it was. Had I known it was his birthday, then I’d havewarned you I’d get mopey. In the past, I’d drink until I passed out, but I don’t — I really can’t do that anymore. I want to stay sober. That means finding other ways to deal.”

“So becoming besties with the bedroom floor was the answer? I see how it is.” I teased him with an eye roll.

His responding grin sent my heart rate into overdrive. I longed to keep that look on his face. I didn’t want him to ever feel like he wasn’t a priority in my life, no matter to what degree he decided to be in it.

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