Page 75 of In the Dust

He advances on me, his calloused hands trapping my wrist. “There is no me without you!” He releases me, gesturing around the night air, kicking up the dry dirt under his boot, slamming his palm to his heart. “I’m here breathing in your ghost from sunup to sundown every damn day and if you leave, I’ll be doing it all over again!”

I laugh, and it breaks his heart as much as it does mine. “If you cared, you wouldn't have her on your chest three seconds after I leave!” I’m fueled by anger over the loss of the farm, and I’m taking it out on him, but I can’t stop myself.

He brings me in, not letting me go as he digs his face into my hair. Tears are falling down my cheeks in sheets. “Every day just to breathe in the faded perfume on your pillow,” he murmurs. “To bring fresh sheets into your room because your grandpa made me do it every week by the off chance you finally decided to come home.”

I press my palm into his chest, but I don’t push away from him. “Then stop!” I cry into his shirt.

“I swear to God, Dixie May, I’ll keep changing those pointless sheets for the rest of my life if you don’t stay.”

I look up at him. “Have you really been doing that all this time?”

He shrugs, and the anger dissipates from my body. “Like clockwork.”

My body shakes with grief. “We’re like fire and gasoline, Colton. I don't know if we’ll ever make it.”

“Then burn me, baby. Light my world on fire and let it burn.”

I fall into his arms, my forehead against his hard chest. “I don’t think anyone in this world loves someone more than I love you,” I whisper to him, to the stars, to my heart.

He takes his rough hands and slides them through my hair, then to my face. “There’s one exception.”

He doesn't finish his sentence; he doesn't need to. I know in his heart that he loves me more than anything. His hands wrap around my back, and he pushes me against the wall of the bar.

I look into his eyes, a flashback of time scrolling through my mind. How many times have I investigated them? I’ve watched his facial features change for over a decade. “I love you so much,” I breathe.

Even my unwarranted jealousy and cold feet can’t deter him from me.

We spend the next hour wrapped in each other in the back of his Bronco.

After we dive through euphoria, as we lay there entangled, Annabelle flashes through my mind. “So, do you wanna explain what Anabelle was doing all cozied up to you?”

He laughs. “It’s not what you think it was, I promise.”

“Elaborate, Colton Payne.” I grab his chin, forcing him to look me right in the eyes.

“She just had too much to drink and stumbled into me. We all laughed about it,” he explains. “Her boyfriend was standing right next to me, and I told him to get her some water.”

“Okay.” That makes sense.

“Okay?”

“I believe you. Your eyes would tell me otherwise.”

We climb into the front seats of his vehicle, and he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “We’re leaving in the morning.”

“To go where?” I ask.

He leans back in his seat. “New York.”

New York? I can’t leave my family like this, not with the current state of the farm. “I don’t want to go.”

“I do.” He smiles, taking my hand in his to kiss each of my fingertips.

Does he really think he can distract me so easily? Of course he can; the answer will always be yes.

“Take me home,” I hiccup.

Colton releases my hand so that he can start the Bronco. He slowly guides the shifter into reverse and places his hand on the back of my seat, giving me that million-dollar grin.

Fuck.

I’m too drunk for this. I need a good night's sleep so I can talk him out of this insanity.

I refuse to go to New York.

It’s the last thing I’ll ever do.

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