Page 34 of Guarded By Death

Day Two

Liv is propped up next to me, concern laced on her face, but she’s been patient all day. I've turned down her request to feed me multiple times, I don't think I can handle anything in my stomach. It will make me sick.

"Can I at least order some Pizza?" she suggests, and I give one nod, I don't have the energy to argue with her. I know she only cares about me and she wants to help but I came here to sulk, why can't she just let me sink into this couch for a while.

I pull my phone out to text Mike and ask for the week off, he's understanding and I'm too empty to care if I get fired. He was my dad's best friend, so I laugh a little inside at the thought of getting fired by him. He replies with a simple,‘Yes, of course, we’re overstaffed anyway.’

The food arrives, and as quickly as the pizza hits my stomach it's back on the floor. I shuffle to clean up the mess from the tile in the kitchen but Liv shrugs me off and forces me to go to bed, I don't argue.

Day Three

Mom is concerned, I know she is; I keep telling her that Liv is going through a break-up and needs me. I muster up all the energy I have to talk to her at least once a day. She pretends to believe me.

I can't keep anything down besides water. I refill my glass in the bathroom to dull the ache in my stomach from lack of food. That's all I've done today, move from the bed to the bathroom for water. Liv is beginning to grow impatient. Sleep lets me forget everything when it graces me with its presence.

With no bond between us and no way to contact him, I let the little sliver of hope burn inside of me that he may visit me and Liv as I pull a piece of paper from the desk in the guest room and a pen. "I saw you in my dreams," I write before I lift the windowpane and place the folded note on the seal, grabbing a bird-shaped paperweight to weigh it down, silently praying it won't fly away.

Day Four

The winds howl, a storm is brewing. I watch as the trees sway outside the window and I remember the note. I rush to yank the pane open, breathing in the fresh scent of the calm before the storm - then I check, the note is gone... but so is the bird, the last ounce of hope fades when I crane my neck down to see the bird didn't fly away but fell off the ledge and shattered into a million pieces. The darkened sky parts as the storm rolls in, headed straight for me. I continue to write pointless letters to a ghost that will never show his face again.

Sleep. Nightmares, was it even real?

Day Five

I step out of the shower, the first one I've taken in days. My hair tugs against the brush as I work the tangles from my thick hair. I don't bother to dry it before I lay my head back on the pillow.

Day Six

It's night again and Liv made me a big glass of hot chocolate and homemade chicken pot pie. I was worried that I would throw it up like everything else, but I ate so much I almost got sick from just simply being too full. She smiled like she won a small victory after an hour of me keeping it down. I went back for seconds a few hours later before heading to bed. My stomach was dancing in happiness because of the comforting food. The hot chocolate soothed my aching throat. My brain and heart still felt useless.

Time is a funny thing; I've always heard the expression, "Time heals all wounds." I heard it from countless people when dad died overseas. That pain is still sharp in my chest, it will never dull. This pain is different, it seeps through every inch of my body, engulfing me with pain. Literal pain. At least I have the hope of seeing my father in heaven one day, I don't have that with Pierce. When I'm long gone, he will still be roaming the earth and that kills me.

On the Seventh day, Liv is over the sulking.

"You have to get out of this house!" She barges into her room; her hands grip the thick curtains that kept the space dark. The ting of the rings sliding against metal hurts my ears, even the setting sun hurts my eyes.

"No, I don't," I reply sharply as I throw the heavy blanket over my tired eyes.

Liv walks to the bed and throws the blanket on the ground. "Up," she demands, and I moan in frustration. "Seriously, get up. We're going out."

"Out?" I ask, a small shock in my voice. "Where?" I ask hesitantly.

"Bonfire, Chad's place. Get dressed. Zack's on his way." A flitter of hope rises in me. If Zack is picking me up maybe Pierce will stop him, I know he gets jealous of him. I internally groan at the thought. I'm being delusional, he's gone, never coming back. But still, I cling to the false hope as I stretch my arms and sit up on the bed.

I stare at her for a brief moment, she looks surprised that I'm agreeing. "Promise if I'm not having fun we can leave?" I ask with a hopeful look in my eyes.

She jumps up and down, "Yes! Anything to get you out of this house!"

I crawl out of bed and hop in the shower, ready to try something different.

"Ready?" Liv asks as she spritzes herself with a large bottle of Pure Seduction, smothering everything in the room with the sweet scent.

"Almost," I say as I twirl the last curl-free piece of hair over the wand. Spraying a strong hold hair spray to mix in with Liv's perfume cloud. I look almost alive, my skin has turned pale over the course of the week but a large amount of foundation and a little blush has livened my features up.

When Zack arrives, I try to hold in my emotions to keep a blank slate on my face to hide what I feel, but he sees me, he always does. He rushes for me, picking me up and wrapping me in a tight hug. I feel comfort in his arms as he strokes my hair, "Did he do this to you?" he whispers in my ear, and I cringe.

Twenty

---