Page 8 of NYE in The Cayman Islands

“Fuck off, you two were just being the normal dicks and trying to get one over on me too. I suppose I should be grateful that I only got a mild dose from my gracious friends.” His pretend coughing tells us how genuinely he feels about it still.

“My poor husband, how have you survived all these years with these three?” Mia can see the funny side of it but is still always going to side with Lex. They are so close but in a different way than the rest of us. Each couple is different in the way they connect, but these two are on a level that comes from a shared experience of years of trauma in their own different circumstances.

“Thank you, baby, at least you can see what they’re like.” Lex looks at Mia like she hangs the moon.

“What? No, don’t feel sorry for him. He tries to act all innocent, but he has pulled enough of these stunts over the years to be in the same category as the rest of us. So, no more complaining about those young jet-ski riders who were just doing exactly what we would have done at the same age, and in fact, did on a regular basis. Otherwise, we will be buying you a walking stick and one of those old-men hats.” I throw my towel at him, and everyone joins in now.

Bella slaps me on the leg. “Be nice.” She is smiling at me and looks happy which is all I worry about.

“Me?” Raising my eyebrows, I hold my hands in the air, looking so innocent. “I’m the nicest man anyone will ever meet.” And with that comment, everyone is now laughing at me, while throwing comments of ridicule.

“Okay, moving on. Let’s get to the next activity which is where, gentlemen, you get to take your ladies on a little pedal-boat ride. And before you start complaining, ladies, you get to sit on you little backsides and there is no exertion needed, well, that’s if your husbands are doing it right.”

“Tate.” The girls all start to groan at me and my innuendoes.

Everyone picks up their hats and bags and starts walking to our next adventure.

Placing my arm around Bella’s shoulder, I lean down and give her a quick kiss on the lips as we start to follow everyone.

“You okay, Tink?” I can’t seem to put my finger on it, but I know she isn’t herself today. Something is off, and without making a thing of it in front of everyone else, I try to make sure she is alright.

ARABELLA

“I’m fine, just a little tired,” I say, trying to brush Tate off from probing any further.

“That’s because you are always being a super mum with the kids. Don’t worry, I’ve factored in a slower afternoon so we can relax a little.” Tate tries to reassure me that I can get a rest, but the poor man really doesn’t have any clue what is in my head.

Trying to divert his attention, I say, “That sounds amazing, and it will do the trick.” Seeing him smile down at me is enough for now.

The girls are right, though, I need to talk to him.

Thinking back to a little earlier when I opened up to my girl tribe, I’m reminded of what they made me promise.

“Hey, can I ask you guys something?” The words feel like the first crack in the armor I have unknowingly started building around me, keeping everyone on the other side of my wall.

“Babe, you can ask anything, you know that.” Paige turns her head toward me and pushes her sunglasses onto the top of her head.

“Except for how we can escape from your husband’s torture itinerary for this trip. Only because I haven’t worked out the answer… yet” Tilly looks at me with the smile that the great-tasting mojitos are bringing to our faces.

But Mia has sensed there is something more in my question as she sits up and moves a little closer to me. She places her hand on mine and with the sweet voice that she has asks me the question that finally breaks me. “Are you okay, sweetheart?”

As she looks deeply into my eyes, the tears start to build, and all I can do is shake my head, and the next thing, there arethree women all sitting facing me, hands on my knees or arms around my shoulders, and I let it all bubble up and out.

“Bella, what is it, talk to us.” Tilly, who has become the big sister I always needed and usually the person I would confide in, is now looking at me like she has missed something and is kicking herself.

Taking a few deep breaths, I pull myself under control so I can talk clearly and they will actually be able to understand what I’m saying.

“I’m not okay, and to be honest, I don’t know how to fix it.” And that is it in basic words.

I just don’t feel like myself. And at times, it gets heavy and I want to crawl into a corner, but I push through, and I know that’s not necessarily the answer either.

“You know it’s okay not to be okay. But let us help. Tell us what you’re feeling.” Paige squeezes my knee, and for the first time, I do actually want to tell them.

“I’m a doctor and have all the medical training to know that I should have been talking to someone about this, but still, I’ve been trying to cope with it on my own. Poor Tate has worked out there is something wrong and has been softly trying to get me to open up, but I just wasn’t ready.”

The girls are all nodding at me like they understand that sometimes as much as you love your man, he just isn’t the person you need to pour your soul out to on some things.

No one rushes me, and I collect my thoughts.

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