Page 55 of The Painter and His Poet

“Sterling, this is for the best,” I say, placing my hand over his and pushing it away.

“Harlow, don’t turn your back on me, on us.”

I swallow hard, forcing myself to be strong because one of us has to have the strength to end this before we hurt anyone else. It’s already too painful.

“We can be friends,” I offer, hoping he’ll forgive me one day for all of this.

He lets out a bitter laugh, his eyes glistening with determination as he rocks his hips against mine so that I can feel his arousal. “No, Harlow, we can’t just be friends.”

“Sterling, I’m so sorry for everything,” I whisper, hating myself.

“I’m not sorry,” he whispers roughly. “Not for meeting you, not for taking you back to my apartment that night, not for having sex with you, not for what happened in Dalton’s office last week, and not for the way I feel about you. I’m. Not. Sorry.”

“Stop it,” I beg, feeling my resolve begin to crack.

“The only thing I’m sorry for is leaving it a week before I came to talk to you. You’ve spent the whole time convincingyourself we can’t be together when I should’ve spent that time showing you that we can.”

“I–”

“Mr Blade?”

“Fuck, it’s Stephanie!”

Sterling exhales sharply, pushing away from me whilst I’m left reeling from his words. He gives me a look, one that says,this conversation isn’t over.

But it is. There’s nothing left to say.

Allowing my body to drop lower beneath the surface of the water, I tell myself that we were hidden by the wall of the pool, and the raised hot tub behind us. That doesn’t stop me from panicking though. Stephanie knew I was taking a swim, and she no doubt would’ve noticed I hadn’t eaten my sandwich she’d made. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out we’re in the pool together. The sheer fact we weren’t swimming when she stepped out of the kitchen tells her that we were at the very least talking, I just hope we were obscured enough that she didn’t notice how close we were whilst doing that.

“What is it, Stephanie?” Sterling asks, swimming towards the other end of the pool, drawing her attention away from me.

“I’ve left your supper in the den as you requested. I just wanted to let you know before I left.”

Sterling hauls himself out of the pool and reaches for his towel, snatching it up, the residual tension from our conversation making his movements jerky, harsh.

“That wasn’t necessary, but thank you,” he bites out.

“I didn’t mean to disturb you,” she replies apologetically, flicking her gaze my way, sensing something amiss. “I apologise for interrupting.”

“It’s no big deal, we were just taking a swim and catching up,” I reply, hoping she buys it as I plaster on a shaky smile.

Sterling nods his head in agreement, barely glancing my way as he wraps the towel around his waist, slides his feet into his shoes, and follows Stephanie inside. I hear her apologising softly again, and Sterling muttering something in response before the sound of the kitchen doors click shut, and a strangled sob releases from my lips.

“Oh God,” I cry, slamming my palm over my mouth as I realise how close we were to getting caught, and how close I was to giving in once again.

FIFTEEN

STERLING

“What you saw…” I begin, trying to find the right words to explain away my intense interaction with Harlow as I escort Stephanie to her car. At this point, I’m not even sure that I want to hide anything, especially not from someone I’ve known almost my whole life.

“Is none of my business,” Stephanie replies, eyeing me as she reaches in her handbag for her key.

“It’s complicated,” I admit, swiping a hand through my hair.

Stephanie nods, her gaze soft, her smile gentle as she regards me. She’s been a constant in my life, and whilst her official role has only ever been head housekeeper for my father, over the years she has unofficially been a friend to me, and my mother too. And right now I could really use a friend, because I honestly don’t know how to handle this situation the right way.

I want Harlow, I know she wants me too, no matter how much she protests otherwise, but truthfully, how can we make this work? My father would never allow it, he would go out of his way to destroy me if he found out how I feel about Harlow, let alone if we attempted to have a relationship. Fuck knows what he’d do to her. Whatever relationship they have is one builton bullshit and lies. My father doesn’t care about anyone but himself.

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