Page 56 of The Painter and His Poet

“Is this why you’ve locked yourself away in your studio this past week?” she asks me, sensing my need to talk.

“Partly, yes,” I agree with a sigh, recalling how I spent the time painting images of Harlow, the urge to paint to try and rid myself of my need for her was intense. But like it was back in New York, painting her image has only made me crave her more. Fuck, I know it’s a risky thing to do, but my father has never once stepped into my studio. Besides I keep it locked and I’m the only one with the key. “But–”

“But?” she questions.

“But also because I thought if I gave Harlow some space she’d be more open to…”

What, talk? Accept the attraction between us? Want to have a relationship with me? Feel as desperate for me as I am for her?“...Christ, I don’t know. This whole situation is fucked-up.”

“It’s not my place to tell you what to do, Sterling, but I am assuming you met Harlow before the wedding.”

“Yes.”

“And that you already made a…connection?” she asks, lowering her voice even though the other staff have already left and there’s no need for her to.

“Yes, we have.”

“And your father and her mother…?”

“Have no idea. They think we met for the first time at the wedding,” I explain, blowing out a breath, “When in actual fact we met months before, around the same time their relationship began. I didn’t know she was Melody’s daughter at the time, and she didn’t know I was the son of the man her mum was dating.”

“I see, that makes things very complicated.”

“Yeah, it does.”

“So how does Harlow feel?” she asks, cocking her head to the side as she glances up at me.

“For the most part, I think she’s scared. Of her feelings towards me, of hurting her mother or my dad, though fuck knows why she gives a shit about what he thinks,” I grumble, wishing she knew what he’s really like. If she did, then perhaps she’d be less inclined to take his feelings into consideration. Feelings that he doesn’t actually have given he’s a cold-hearted bastard.

“I can’t speak for her mother, but I do know that your father wouldn’t appreciate a relationship between you and his wife’s daughter.”

“Tell me something I don’t already know,” I agree darkly.

“So what are you going to do?” she asks.

“Make her mine.”

“But your father…”

She pauses, searching for the right words, her loyalty to my father as his employee, and probably a whole dose of fear, causing her to pause momentarily. He’s fired plenty of staff over the years for doing much less than being honest, ruining their lives in the process too by ensuring no one else will hire them.

“You can be frank with me, Stephanie, we both know what my father’s capable of. This conversation will go no further. Honestly, I could just really use some advice.”

She nods. “I have witnessed many things working for your family over the years, and I’m fully aware of your father’s disposition–”

“Hiscrueltyyou mean?”

“Yes, his cruelty,” she soothes, reaching for me and squeezing my arm in acknowledgment. “I guess what I’m saying is that you know the risks if you pursue something with Harlow. He’s a very powerful, influential man, and I know your relationship isalready strained to say the least. I don’t want you hurt anymore than you have been by his words and his actions over the years.”

“So what are you saying, that I should just ignore how I feel? That I should let go of the only woman I’ve ever felt such a strong connection with? I don’t know if I can do that.”

“Does she know?” Stephanie asks, looking at me pointedly, and I know she’s referring to my synesthesia. She’s the only member of staff that’s aware of my condition.

“No,” I shake my head.

“Why? Don’t you think it’s important that she does?”

“It won’t change how I feel about her,” I protest.

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