Page 135 of Take What You Want

He’s just an insecure, small man who took his own feelings of inadequacy out on me. So many years I spent with him, and I don’t want to give him any more of my time.

I grab my purse and rap my knuckles against the counter. “Have a good flight back to Boston.”

“Be careful, Jane. I know guys like him.”

I can’t help the cackle that works its way up my throat. “You know guys like him?”

“Cocky, arrogant artists who think the world should bow down to their every whim simply because they can play an instrument or string a couple of sentences together. I just didn’t think you’d fall for that sort of act.”

An act?

“Did you forget you literally cheated on me?”

“I’m not saying my hands are clean. I’m just saying that you’re smart and I don’t think you’d want to put yourself in that position again.”

I’m almost too stunned to speak at his audacity. The fact that he would convince Lisa to set up this meeting, fly all the way out, just to what…warn me about Nikolai? Because he thinks he’s bad for me? Where does he get off? When did he suddenly care about my feelings and well-being?

I’m over this conversation. Pushing away from the desk, I start to walk backward toward the door.

Liam watches my steps but makes no move to stop me. For someone who wanted to talk so badly, he doesn’t seem motivated to convince me to stay. Maybe he sees the resolution on my face.

Maybe he just wanted to be able to have the final word.

“I trust him,” I say resolutely. “He’d never betray me like you did.”

Liam shrugs. “If you say so. See you around, Jane.”

I turn and strut toward the door. “You won’t actually,” I call over my shoulder. It’s petty to want to get the final word in, but trying to be the bigger person all the time is grating.

The door slams shut behind me as I step out into the sunshine.

Me: Good luck tonight. I’ll be watching :)

Nikolai: Sorry just seeing this babe. Been in the studio all day. I’ll be singing for you

Me: xoxo

I settleon the couch and flip the TV on. I don’t usually love late night TV, but for Nikolai, I’d watch paint dry. The smell of buttery popcorn fills the air, wafting upstairs from the machine I used all by myself. I pop a handful of kernels into my mouth as I listen to the interview at the top of the show.

It’s some hockey player that I’ve never heard of but he’s hot enough that I find myself paying attention. Not as hot as Nikolai, but then again, no one is. But I won’t ever tell him that. He doesn’t need a bigger ego.

The host wraps up the interview and teases the upcoming music performance when we get back. I whip the blanket off my lap and dash to the bathroom.

By the time I get back to the living room, the commercial break is over and the screen cuts to Nikolai and Kerra. He’s dressed in black pants, a black belt with silver hardware that matches his watch and rings, and a black button-up. Fuck, he looks edgy and moody with the lack of color. He usually wears a pop of something, but I like this monochromatic dark look on him. It makes his light eyes and hair pop.

He starts singing and I feel his voice through the screen and down to my toes. I curl them against the sofa cushion and fiddle with my necklace. The camera cuts to a close-up on his face and I want to lick the little frown line that forms between his brows as he sings a higher note.

A hand snakes around his shoulder, interrupting the otherwise pristine shot. The fingers have long, sharp nails and they claw at his shirt. It breaks me out of my stupor.

The camera goes back to a wide shot and although I knew it was coming, I don’t like seeing Kerra with her hands all overhim. To Nikolai’s credit, he slips out from beneath her hold gracefully and gives the floor over to her for her verse.

I try to keep my eyes on Nikolai in the background, not wanting to focus on any part of her performance. But she’s making it nearly impossible because she keeps trying to pull him to the shot. She wraps her hands around his arms, looks up at him with a flutter of her lashes.

She’s laying it on thick tonight.

It’s nothing new with their performance, but something about seeing it now, after I finally feel like I’ve fully let Nikolai back in and we’re on the same page about things, makes it harder to swallow.

I pop a few more pieces of popcorn in my mouth just to preoccupy my hands. If I wasn’t trying to be such a supportive girlfriend, I’d turn this off so I wouldn’t have to see any more of it.

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