Page 64 of Take What You Want

The crowd screams their excitement as they look at him like he hung the moon and stars. Without even singing the first note, they’re already hanging onto his every word. Born to be onstageand captivate crowds. Kerra grabs her own mic, further rallying the crowd.

Her outfit perfectly complements Nikolai’s look. She’s in a white, skin-tight dress with multiple cut-outs to show off pops of skin. Her platform boots have silver hardware that matches the rings and watch that Nikolai wears, and to top it off, she has a baby blue bow at the back of her head with her short hair styled half up, half down.

Her makeup is even lighter than it usually is and it’s obvious she’s taking this rebrand seriously.

They look good together, like a perfect, aesthetically appealing couple. Like they make sense together. Two artists, two talented singers, two beautiful people.

My gut churns and a bitter taste clogs the back of my throat.

Nikolai’s eyes dance across the crowd and he frowns slightly as the track begins to thump throughout the venue. What’s suddenly unnerving him?

When he looks to the side of the stage where Arun and I stand, his entire face relaxes and that lazy smile of his tilts the corner of his mouth as we lock eyes.

Everything stops for a moment as we stare at each other like we’ve done so many times before.

When we were eighteen at shows in our hometown bars.

When I visited on tour last year and our newfound friendship was getting back on track.

A moment in time, shared just between the two of us, with years of familiarity and laughter and comfort all at once. The music becomes a distant murmur, the crowd becomes a blur, and the air grows taut until my vision is tunneled in on him.

I give the smallest of nods to him. A silent,You got this.He nods knowingly and with one final sweep of my entire body that sets all of my nerve endings on fire, he pulls his gaze away just in time to sing the opening lyrics of the song.

His words have a physical effect on me as he croons into the microphone. The smallest hint of rasp, the smooth and elegant way he delivers each note, the emotion he weaves in. My heart skips a beat and unlocks a sense of euphoria that can only be experienced with live music.

I hold my hands to my chest to contain my racing heart as I watch him perform like he was born to do. He moves around the stage effortlessly. The crowd follows his every move subconsciously, like they’re under his spell. As he reaches the chorus, he leans over slightly, belting out the words I’ve overheard him singing in the shower for weeks now and I think I liked them even better then because it was a private performance for my ears only.

If there is a God, He picked favorites when it comes to gifting Nikolai both his looks and his talent. The least He could’ve done is give him a shit personality or make him ugly on the inside.

When the second verse begins, Kerra starts her part of the song. The crowd shifts their attention to her as Nikolai takes a few steps back from the front of the stage as she takes his spot.

Her voice is pure, sugary pop but it fits the song well. And when the chorus comes around and Nikolai joins in, the two of them blend together like cotton candy colors swirling in the evening sky.

Arun huffs out a laugh. “They sound great together, don’t they?”

I nod silently as Nikolai and Kerra now face each other as they sing the final lyrics of the song with locked gazes that feel far more intimate than the rest of the performance.

My breath gets lodged in my throat as I watch her watch him the same way I used to. Maybe the way Istilldo.

It’s all an act. It’s all an act.

They have a job to do.

But it doesn’t put a bandage on the opening slice that sears down my chest when Nikolai tucks a single lock of Kerra’s hair behind her ear as they sing out the final notes. He smiles at her as their voices fade out and she steps closer to him until barely any light from the stage lights seeps between their bodies.

The crowd explodes into cheers and applause, but it all fades to a dull roar as the two of them share this moment together.

A moment they’d have to repeat over and over again as they promote this song. It’s only going to ramp up even more as they debut their fake relationship.

If it’ll even stay fake…

As much as I’ll never be able to forget the late-night bike rides, the reassurances whispered in my ear when I tried to hide myself in a crowded room, and the selflessness that he’s shown my brother and his friends over the years, I’ll also never be able to forget the pain of losing Nikolai the first time.

I won’t survive it a second time.

Nikolai Brooks has never been and will never be a bad person.

But he’s notmyperson anymore.

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