What was I missing? I stood and poured myself a glass of water. I chugged it and refilled the glass before going back to lie down on the oversize chaise. I closed my eyes for a second and immediately started dreaming of Ela, half-awake, half-asleep, as if my brain only wanted an excuse to see her again. Mostly the dreams consisted of Ela baking while I watched her from the kitchen counter.
“Matt.” A hand shoved me hard. “Hey, if you quit on us now, I’m shaving your eyebrows.” Derek shook me again and didn’t stop until I opened my eyes.
“No. I’m still going strong.” I sat up.
“Looks to me like you were gone. Who’s got you smiling in your sleep?” He plopped himself down on the leather club chair.
“I thought you’d gone upstairs.”
“Valentina sent me to get her a glass of water. I saw you here and thought I should get you up before Tyler found you.” He took a long swig of his water.
“You look happy. I’m glad you found someone. Valentina looks like a great person.”
“Thanks. I still can’t believe she said yes to putting up with my ass for the rest of her life.” He shook his head, glancing over his shoulder in the general direction of their bedroom. “How about you? Who’s this new girlfriend Tyler’s been telling everyone about?”
“I told him not to say anything.” I lay down on the chaise. With Derek sitting on the chair across from me, I felt as if I were back in therapy.
“Oh man.” He leaned forward. “What happened?”
“She threw it all away.”
Wasn’t that the crux of it all? In a matter of minutes, she threw it all away. And for what? One last high, to feel better about losing her hotel.
“I’m sorry. She broke it off?” he asked. This was Derek, brilliant CEO. To him, everything had a solution, a reason. We were very much alike in that sense. We liked plans and strategies. We liked it when things made sense.
I opted for the truth. Maybe he had a solution for this too. “Ela’s been going through a rough time at home. She overdid it with the vodka and landed in the hospital.”
“Jesus, Matt. I’m sorry. It must’ve been hard for you to have to take her to the hospital like that.”
That was the worst part. It hadn’t been me who found her. I wasn’t there when she needed me. “No, someone else found her. The nurse said some guy dropped her off because he thought she was dead.”
“And that’s it? She goes overboard once, and you’re ready to let her drown?”
“What?”
“I get it, Matt. You went through a serious ordeal when you were a kid. People make mistakes. You can’t cut her off without giving her a second chance.” Derek held my gaze and waited for his words to sink in.
“It hurt too much to see her like that.”
“Imagine how she felt to see you leave.”
I placed both arms over my face and let the tears flow. I wasn’t trying to punish her. Was Derek right? Did I give up on us too quickly? This whole time I’d been feeling sorry for myself for what she did to me, I didn’t stop to think how she would feel about me taking off as I had. A disappearing act not too different from the one her dad pulled on her when she was younger.
“Fuck. What did I do?”
“Talk to her. Call her right now. Actually, don’t do that. It’s kind of late, and you're drunk. That might piss her off.” He rose to his feet and walked over to me. “Come on, let’s hug it out.”
I was such an asshole, going around whining about how miserable my childhood was because of my bio mom. The Coles gave me a second chance at life, a loving family, and a home. Ela didn’t have any of those things. Who was I to judge her for making one mistake? Ela wasn’t Mom. She’d asked me for a second chance, and I’d walked out on her.
“Thanks, brother. I appreciate the talk.” I stood and hugged him. “Sometimes I get my head so far up my ass it’s hard to see.”
“I wish I could say I’ve never been in that situation.” He chuckled. “Hey, tomorrow when you tell Mom you have to leave sooner than expected, can you not mention I had something to do with it?”
“I’ll tell her it was Tyler.”