Page 29 of Eden's Deliverance

“What happened?” He leans in, nearly dipping his elbow into the sloppy meatballs. I don’t get heated very often, but this isn’t something we should be shouting for the whole campus to hear.

“It’s nothing, dude, I just…” I don’t want to sound like a pussy. “She spit on me. It’s whatever, you know I love the bratty shit. I’m just hitting my limit, man. If she’s gonna fight this hard, is it even worth it?” I ask, mindlessly pushing my food around with the fork. “I’m just in my head and need a break, that’s all.”

He looks at me with remorseful eyes as he runs a hand over the top of his head, smoothing away the frizz in his hair. “Fuck, Jules. I’m sorry, I—”

Holding up my hand, I cut him off. I don’t need him to apologize or feel guilty. “I’m just saying. You’ve gotta take over for a while, or we cut it out altogether.”

“I’ll take care of it.” He gives me a nod and I return it, thankful for the unspoken understanding.

Skylar knows what it was like for me growing up, and there’s a reason I spent so much time at his house when I was a kid.

My parents are pieces of shit.

I hate that I’m 23 years old, still cowering from trauma they inflicted upon me over a decade ago. I imagine it’s part of why I need to feel in control during sex. It’s why I can’t stand the touch of another human being. It’s why Scarlett keeps triggering me with her behavior. She doesn’t mean to—she doesn’t know anything about me—but it hits all the same.

It’s the entire reason I’m studying Sociology in the first place; I need to be able to help the kids who are voiceless and in danger. The kids with parents who don’t want them. The kids who are taught that abuse is a form of love, and they can’t possibly know any better. The beaten, broken, helpless kids who feel lost in the world.

The kids like me.

We had a neighbor once, Ms. Moss, who would babysit me after school while my parents were still at work. She was the only adult I felt like I could honestlytrust, with the exception of Skylar’s mom. Teachers at school didn’t care, the counselor was overworked, and my parents were scum. But Ms. Moss listened to me, fed me, held me when I cried.

She even called CPS for me once after hearing a particularly violent spat through the walls. When the social worker arrived the following evening for her check, my parents were picture perfect. Mother invited the lady into our home, offered her coffee and cookies, then beat me half to death after she left. Dad came in later to finish me off, but when he heard the theme song to his favorite TV show playing, he decided that was more important.

Normal stuff, you know.

As an adult, I avoid them as much as possible. Skylar and I rent a house so I have a place to stay during holidays and between semesters. I never have to go back there if I don’t want to—and I don’t. Sometimes I come with him to visit Gretchen, and she’s more than happy to be my stand-in mother. The woman is a saint.

Skylar’s dad is a different brand of shit, altogether. 20 years of marriage down the drain because some hot, new thing came along and scooped him up. It’s no surprise why Sky has abandonment issues, or why Scarlett is the bane of his existence. She bears a striking resemblance to his dad’s mistress, with long, red hair that’s so blood-like, he loves to imagine the color pouring out of her throat instead of her scalp.

Yeah, he’s got problems of his own.

It didn’t take me long to put the whole thing together. I was at their house during the summer of the divorce, and we helped Gretchen pick up the pieces of her broken life. She doesn’t know this, but we were the ones who found out about the affair. Put two 15-year-old boys in front of a computer, and there’s no secret you can keep.

We found that shit immediately. The computer was littered with photos and emails between this slut and his dad, conversations planning for their future, and promises about leaving his wife.

Skylar confronted him and demanded that he come clean about everything we found, but instead of staying to fix his marriage, he left. Gretchen was a mess, and we felt responsible for it. Sky built up so much hatred, it seeped into his personal life. No dating, no strings attached. Just non-committal hate-fucking and a lifetime of frustration poured into sports and exercise.

That’s why Scarlett’s so fun for us to toy with.

For him, she’s everything he hates. She’s the perfect target for the revenge fantasies he never got to live out as a kid. He can pull her red hair and think about the woman who ruined life as he knew it. He can fuck her and throw her away—the way his dad should have done to his mistress but didn’t.

For me, she allows me the control I need to keep my head straight. She lets me tie her up, spit on her, slap her around in the same way my parents did to me. The difference being, she knows I’ll make it good for her afterwards. I can show her those actions have a place in the world—in the bedroom—without causing irreparable damage to the psyche.

Maybe one day, I’ll even believe it too.

10

Skylar

I hate Statistics almost as much as I hate Scarlett McKenna.

Thankfully, it’s my last class on Fridays, so Julian and I are heading home to unwind after a week from hell. We’re supposed to go to Eden tomorrow night, but after him talking about needing a break from Scarlett, I’m inclined to agree. I haven’t spent more than five minutes with her at the club, and even I know how infuriating she can be.

The dilemma is, I’m not willing to let the whole thing go…so according to him there’s only one more option: I have to step up. I have to try to get her in a room with me, and there’s no way she’ll be willing to do that after the switch we pulled last weekend.

“Did your contact tell you what mask she’s going to be wearing this time?” I ask.

Someone’s on their way to losing their job at Eden for giving Julian such private information and asking for nothing in return. Not that I know of, anyway. But somehow, he manages to get the intel every week like clockwork.

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