Page 17 of Eden's Deliverance

I just know I want more.

Penelope and I made a quick stop at the post office in order to return our masks from Eden, but all I can think about is when I’ll receive a new one.

We’re having dinner at Andy’s Diner, talking through plans for our next visit. “Why don’t you try being a Sapphire with me?” she suggests, shoving a french fry into her mouth.

I considered returning as a Pearl, but I think I’m now looking more in the direction of Emerald or Amethyst. Obviously I liked getting tied up, but I know from the porn I watch that hardcore BDSM can get a little too extreme—maybe too much for me.

“I was thinking about going for Amethyst. Do you think I’d do alright with that?” I ask, hoping she’ll give me an honest answer rather than whatever she assumes I want to hear.

I’m not totally confident about impact play, but I think getting spanked in the Purple Room might be less of a plunge into depravity than getting choked out in the Blue Room.

I try to recall my favorite parts from the other night with that man, but I just keep rolling around the idea of bondage. There was something so hot about having my mouth stuffed and my hands tied.

The blindfold felt a bit unfair, but who am I to say?

Penelope mimics my thoughts, as usual. “I don’t know, babe. It seems like you might be more into the helpless thing than punishment. You could always ask the dom to slap you around a bit, if you’re comfortable with that. I don’t have much experience in there myself, so I can’t really say.”

I pull up the application on my phone browser, sorting through the list of kinks again as I contemplate my choices. It’s only the Friday after our first visit, but I want to make sure I’m set for next weekend.

Spending tomorrow night inside will give me some extra time to reflect on what I want and how I’m going to handle things, should I meet that man again.

I’m much less nervous than I was the first time I did this, but even knowing I fit somewhere in this world, finding the right place to slot into is still intimidating.

I don’t know how many attempts it’ll take for me to find where I’m supposed to be, or exactly what I want.

It’s hard living with a general distrust for people, but I have to remember everyone else is held accountable to the same rules and guidelines—they wouldn’t be allowed in if they didn’t uphold them.

He may have edged me without discussing it, but the man from the other night respected me in every other sense. He waited for me to relax before testing my limits when I gagged on his fingers, and he was adamant about checking for my safe word.

“Alright,” I concede. “What’s the worst that could happen? Is it horrible that I’m hoping to see one of those guys from the other night? They did ask for me to come back.”

Penelope giggles, tossing a fry at me across the table. “Scarlett, please. If anything, it’s just a testament to how fucking hot you are. I haven’t had anyone at the club promise me seconds. I get a ‘wham, bam, thank you, ma’am,’ and that’s all I can hope for. You’re a goddamn fox, so take these boys for all they’re worth.”

The club isn’t any less exuberant than it was two weeks ago.

People flood the dance floor, grinding senselessly to “Shimmy” by MISSIO and Blackillac when we enter. Penelope and I pre-gamed before riding over in an Uber, so I’m already tipsy and raring to go when we head to the bar and order our signature drinks.

Apparently, the personal space she graced me with last week has run its course, because she’s back in protection mode. Despite assuring her multiple times that I can handle myself, she won’t let go of the mama-bear act and keeps criticizing every prospect I find.

It isn’t until we’re three drinks deeper that she finally turns her attention away to seek out her own partner. Now, she won’t quit asking me to scout out Sapphire men for her to go ravish—as if she’d be the one doing the ravishing at all.

After a few minutes of scanning the crowd, I spot my mystery guy from the White Room. He’s with some blonde girl, swaying to the music in perfect unison as his hands travel the length of her waist.

That was me, two weeks ago.

I know what it’s like to have those hands on me, making me feel things I didn’t know I could—or even knew I liked at the time. I won’t say I’m jealous, because that would be stupid. Like,reallystupid, because I don’t even know the guy, and he doesn’t owe me a second round.

But also, that girl can go fuck herself.

“I’m gonna go outside and get some air!” I don’t even wait for Penelope’s response before hopping off the bar stool and making my way to the balcony.

The view is gorgeous from out here; we’re so high up you can see the city for miles. Dark wood flooring expands a few feet out and wraps around three-quarters of the building. It’s all enclosed with beautiful glass half-walls, adorned in etched filigree that remind me of the gold accents on the door to the Rainbow Room.

I’m leaning against the railing, taking in the sights below me, when I hear the flick of a lighter and someone inhaling. I don’t want to be nosey and turn around, but when footsteps sound behind me, they put me on guard. My pulse quickens, and my hands tighten around the railing to keep myself from wavering.

The presence radiating at my backside is as dark and foreboding as the familiar voice that speaks. “What, you don’t have any interest in joining metonight? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re trying to avoid me, darling. I know you were watching me,” he whispers directly into my ear.

His low, sexy tone makes me shiver, but I’m not giving in to his mind games. If he wants to play, I’ll play back.

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