Page 23 of Chasing You

For a second, Adele’s ears were ringing. Terminal? Did he hear that right? “Was that on the table?”

Kash looked properly ashamed. “One of my specialists back home thought I might have ALS.”

Don’t get mad, Adele told himself.People cope in different ways, and he had a right to keep it to himself. This isn’t his fault. You cannot demand he handles this any other way but his own.

He took a deep breath and chose his words carefully. “I wish you’d told me. That had to be a very heavy burden to carry.”

Kash didn’t look at him as they made their way toward the metro entrance. “I was afraid to say it aloud. I thought if I did, I might manifest it or something. I know how that sounds, but?—”

“No.” Adele stopped him right before the escalators and tugged him to the side to get out of the way of the small stream of passengers going both up and down. Kash’s back hit the wall, and Adele stopped him short of hitting the titles too hard. “Look, my feelings are hurt, okay? I’m not going to lie to you. We used to tell each other everything, and it’s hard for me to accept that we live in a world where I didn’t know the moment you did. But I also understand that our lives diverged.”

Kash swallowed hard. “I didn’t mean for them to.”

Bowing his head, Adele knocked their foreheads together. “Neither did I. But life happened. We grew up. You’re back now, but I’m not going to force you to let me in the way you used to. I’ll be patient. I can accept this new space. I just need time. And I hope you still trust me.”

Kash’s voice was soft and thready when he said, “I do. You have no idea. And I’m really glad you were here with me for this. I really didn’t want to do it alone.”

Adele was still hurt and in shock because he’d been worried about it being bad, but not terminal. Still, he wasn’t going to lay all that bare. Not right now. Probably not ever. It would only ruin things, and it didn’t matter now. Whatever this was, Kash was going to live. His fear had risen and fallen in a single breath, and it was all okay.

Now, he could focus on having Kash back. He wasn’t going to let his dipshit heart, dipshit pride, and dipshit dick ruin it.

“Let’s get back to the hotel. We can celebrate.”

“Yeah. I have a couple more tests tomorrow, but I canfinally breathe easy.” Kash shifted to the side and used his free hand to take Adele’s. It was warm, and Kash’s fingers slotted perfectly in the gaps between his.

Adele squeezed gently, then led the slow way to the escalators and pretended not to feel it right in his soul when Kash stood a little closer and held on a little tighter.

“Right now,” Kash said, lying prone on the bed with a chocolate lava cake to-go container resting on his chest, “the official diagnosis is still dystonia with no cause. This guy has a couple ideas of why it hit me the way it did. There’s one that’s muscular…” His brow furrowed.

“Dystrophy?” Adele offered.

Kash clapped his hands over his cake, then grabbed it before it fell. “That’s the one. Sounds kind of terrifying. The other one is the same one that French CanadianTitanicsinger has. Stiff person syndrome? He’s testing blood stuff and brain stuff and muscle stuff.” Kash ended on a sigh. “It’s a lot. But I’m not dying.”

He wasn’t dying. Adele had needed to remind himself of that once every ten minutes since Kash had dropped the bomb that it had been a possibility. He swallowed heavily. “And what if it’s not those things?”

“Then he said he’s confident it’s due to the head injury on the job.”

Which meant he’d get his full pension and be able to retire with benefits. Adele didn’t want any of this for him, but it was the best-case scenario.

“The important part is that I’m alive, and I’ll get to live to see you get old and wrinkly,” Kash said softly.

Adele knee-walked toward him from his spot in front ofthe second bed and leaned over Kash’s head. “Trust me, you would have anyway. If you think I would have let you go that easily, you’re out of your mind.”

“Gonna single-handedly cure the uncurable because you’re too chickenshit to live without your best friend?”

Their gazes connected, and Adele felt something shift. It was almost physical. He wasn’t touching Kash, but it felt like it. “I’m not a chickenshit. I love you. I refuse to exist in this world without you, but I also can’t leave Gage while he’s so young, so what choice do I have? Cure a disease. Make a deal with Hades. I don’t care as long as I get to keep you.”

Kash closed his eyes. “I’ve always been yours.”

That wasn’t true. That had never been true. Not completely, but in that moment, Adele didn’t care. They were drunk on relief and heavy carbs and basking in each other’s presence. He was going to let himself feel every second of this moment. It was late—past one in the morning. The entire city was quiet—lights out, dark skies. They had switched off their bedside lamps and kept the curtains open, and in the distance, he could see a faint glow from a large cathedral on a hill.

It was strange and beautiful, just like the moment they were sitting in.

“I’m yours too,” he finally said.

Kash said nothing for a long while. His hands moved slow and stiff, his fingers not very cooperative, but he got the cake off his chest without spilling it, then slid off the bed and practically into Adele’s lap. Adele adjusted them so he was holding Kash between his legs, and he’d never felt so at home.

He buried his nose in the back of his neck and breathed him in. Even after all these years, it was the same.

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