Page 78 of Cruel Hearts

After a moment I lean back and she breaks the kiss.

“We’re going to a hotel across town. Do you have your purse? Where’s your phone?”

She hands me her cell, and I install a transportation app and enter my credit card information. “Go shopping and pretend you’re having an afternoon out. I would ask Douglas to drive you, but he’s busy now. You’ll be okay on your own, won’t you? Buy some clothes. We won’t be here when your online things are delivered. Take your time and enjoy yourself. Stop for a coffee,and when you’re done, go to the Crowne. I’ll tell the manager to expect you, and he’ll bring you to my room.”

“Okay,” she says, gripping the phone in her hand. She’s reluctant, but there’s nothing more I can say to reassure her.

“Nat, if you decide not to go through with this, don’t just run off, please. Tell me, and I’ll do what I can to keep you safe. Ash is dangerous, and you know that. Have probably seen evidence of it. I can’t force you to help me, but I’ll be afraid for your life if you try to go your own way.”

“I know.” She cuddles into me.

Impatiently, I rub her back and force myself to give her a few minutes. She needs time, reassurance. Like Stella, Ash is tipping her life upside down, and I need to find my compassion.

But she’s not the woman I want to hold.

That woman is sleeping in my bed.

Nathalie freshens up and I carry her bag to the foyer. After five years and countless nights, she keeps a small amount clothing, jewelry, and toiletries here, but there would have been more had we been in a real relationship. She’d insisted on keeping fresh lingerie, a toothbrush, and a change of clothes in my suite. Now I know why. After she left, she’d go on to another job.

Shopping this afternoon will add to the things she’ll need at the hotel, but she can buy what she wants, not what Ash is telling her to wear for work.

Lucille’s gone, and Ingrid’s packing. Zarah’s wandering around her room like she’s never been here before. I could curse Ash for all he’s done to my family, but the thought of revenge tastes sweeter on my tongue.

I contact Mel. I’m assuming she’s still working downstairs. “We’re meeting at the Crowne.”

She’s been digging and trying to find out who hired the hit on Maryanne, but her killer seems like a small consideration now. The only person it could be is Ash, and the proof will come out when we uncover more of the revolting things he and his father are involved in.

I don’t want to talk over the phone, and I tell her I’ll explain what I’ve found out in person. She says she’s tracking down a lead and will drive to the hotel as soon as she can.

Nathalie meets me at the elevator, and I kiss her cheek goodbye. Though she’s been good to me and she’ll be a huge asset, I regret getting mixed up with her. She brought out a side in me I thought Stella had taken away, and Nathalie’s presence reminds me I’m not a person worthy of Stella’s love, that maybe I never was.

When the penthouse is empty, I trod upstairs, my footsteps heavy. Stella wanted to ride with Zarah, but it’s better if we travel in separate vehicles and I sent Ingrid and my sister ahead of us.

Stella’s hair is splayed across my pillow, and I lay on my side next to her, my head in my hand. I trace her arched brows, the elegant line of her nose. In sleep, she looks peaceful, like she hasn’t lived a life full of pain, anger, and abuse. I should have fought harder. I should have called Cardello long ago. I should have flown to Italy and confronted him.

Then I would have known the truth.

Instead, I trusted Ash rather than the woman I claimed to love.

She has every right to hate me.

Her eyes flutter open, so blue. I remember when we would make love, they would smoke, like dry ice.

“Stella,” I breathe. I’m wasting time lying here. We should be meeting the others, but her lips part and I have no choice butto kiss her. She doesn’t respond, and I think this will be another snub, one more time she tells me to fuck off, but her lips start to move under mine and she opens her mouth, inviting my tongue to taste her sweetness.

I do, and she’s everything I ever remembered.

She wraps her arms around my neck, and that opens the floodgates of need and want. I pull her close, my hand under her ass, and I mold myself to her lithe figure all the while waiting for her to tell me to stop, for her to turn this into something sordid.

But she doesn’t, only kisses me back, our tongues tangling together. I run my hand along her leg, over her thigh, a large scrape bumping under my fingers. She moans, and I think I’ve hurt her until she whispers my name against my lips.

I lean away and look into her shimmering eyes. Refusal doesn’t glare at me like I suspected, but something...else. Something deep. I don’t want to call it love. I’d never do that to my heart, but the emotion writhing in the blue isn’t hate, and I’ll gratefully accept that for now.

“Let me make love to you, Stella.”

Tears pool in her eyes, and as they run down her temples, they shatter me into jagged pieces.

“It hurts.”

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