Page 77 of Cruel Hearts

“I love you. You can despise me for believing the photos and I won’t try to defend myself, but I loved you even though I thought you chose him over me. In your apartment, I acted like I hated you, but it wasn’t you I hated. I hated myself because there was so much evidence was stacked against you, and I still couldn’t give you up. I did love you, and I never stopped.”

Tears fill Stella’s eyes and she turns her head. She’s done listening. That’s okay. I don’t have anything else to say. She letsme kiss her cheek. “Go back to sleep. I need to do a few things before we go.”

I leave the door cracked and go downstairs to the kitchen. I need to talk to Lucille and let her know what’s going on. I loosen my tie and pour a cup of coffee. I don’t know what time it is or if I’ve had anything to eat today. My stomach can’t handle anything right now.

“Zane, what’s happening?” She’s worried, and she twists a towel in her hands, her gaze cutting to my face and the scratches on my cheek. Christ.

I thought about keeping Lucille in the dark, but she’s my housekeeper and part of my family. Ash won’t know what she doesn’t know, and it’s best I tell her everything so she can protect herself. I explain what Zarah’s doctors did to her following Ash’s orders at Quiet Meadows. I explain where Stella’s been, and more importantly, why, and where my scratches came from. To my shame, I explain Nathalie’s history and my part in it. I save the worst for last.

“I trusted Ash and Clayton, but they’ve been lying to me and knew the truth all along. My mother found out something she shouldn’t have, and Clayton caused the crash that killed her and Dad.”

Lucille sways on her feet and grips the edge of the counter. “Your poor mother and father. What are you going to do? Will you go to the police?”

“I don’t trust anyone now except Stella and a couple of others. I want justice. I want them to go to prison for their crimes. You should go and visit your family, the farther away, the better. Pack, and Douglas will drive you to the airport when you’re ready. Stay until I tell you it’s safe to come back, but I don’t know when that will be. I’m sorry. Ash and Clayton...some very influential people will go down with them. This city is going to see a lot of trouble by the time I’m done.”

Lucille nods.

Clutching her hand, I say, “You have to promise, no matter what you see on the news, you don’t believe it unless I tell you it’s true.” She would be devastated to lose Stella again.

She hugs me, kisses the cheek Stella didn’t rip to shreds, and quickly grabs her purse out of a desk drawer. She’ll say goodbye to Zarah, but she’s smart and won’t waste any time leaving the city.

Zarah’s resting but not sleeping, and I give her a long hug she briefly returns.

Outside her room, in quiet whispers, I ask Ingrid to go through Zarah’s things and pack a suitcase. I explain that we’re relocating and why it’s safer to stay at the hotel for the time being. She widens her eyes and licks her lips, and all I can do is hope she doesn’t run in the middle of the night. We need her help. Keeping my voice calm, I tell her to be ready to go soon.

Nathalie’s lying on the bed in the guest room. She’s holding a book, but she’s skimming the pages too quickly to get anything out of it. She’s not a reader. All of Stella’s books in her tiny apartment come to mind. Her tiny life. Her tiny life she fit me so snugly into because she wanted me there.

“Hey.”

She’s tuned in to trouble, and she sits up. “What is it? Is it Ash?”

“Yes, but not in the way you think. Things are going to start happening. Soon. You need to tell me you’re on board.”

I sit on the bed, and déjà vu hits me—sitting on the edge of a bed as a woman looks at me, tears shining in her eyes.

She launches herself into my lap. “I’m scared.”

I smooth my hand over her hair. “I know. Ash is a powerful man, but so am I. I was able to get you away from him, wasn’t I?”

“Yes.” She doesn’t sound convinced, and I swallow back an expletive.

“We have to pretend there’s nothing wrong. It’s important. We’ll have to see him eventually, and you’ll need to act like everything’s okay. That you’re happy to be with me. That we love each other and we’re planning to get married.”

Her gaze shifts away.

“Nat.”

“What?”

“There’s a lot riding on this. Can I trust you?”

She bites her lip. I need to know she’s not going to bail. That would be dangerous for all of us.

“That looks so painful,” Nathalie says, lightly running her fingertips over the gouges covering my cheek. The burn toned down to a dull throb I try none too successfully to ignore.

Before Stella came back, I would have leaned into her touch and let her kiss my bad day away. Drink champagne and screw—hard. There was none of the softness that Stella brought to our bed in mine and Nathalie’s. Dreams and a future filled Stella’s and my bed...nightmares and the past filled mine and Nathalie’s.

I should push her off my lap, but she nuzzles my lips with hers and I let her stay. She needs the affection to feel safe, and it’s my job now, at least until Ash can’t hurt her anymore, to protect her.

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