Page 77 of Misguided Vows

Alina’s staring at me now, almost in disbelief. “Small world, huh?”

I chuckle, trying to release this erratic energy around me. Considering she was raised in this very same town, I couldn’t believe the slim chance myself. “Coincidental it would seem.”

“Do you still think you’ll settle down here?” she asks.

“No. But I think this will be a place I come back to often. I might just have to make sure I don’t drink so much when I do.”

She lets out a chuckle. “I guess I hit the list, then, didn’t I?”

I give her a serious look. “No, you were never a one-night fling.”

She goes to say something, as if to ask what she might be to me, but it falls dead on her lips. The tension around us changes as she removes my jacket and says with a beautiful smile, “Hayley was very lucky to have you for a husband.”

“She dealt with a lot,” I say with a nervous laugh, and she does the same as she places the jacket in my hand.

“I bet she did.” Sad eyes meet mine. “I think we need to call it quits here, Will. I don’t want to hate you, but I think we might both be in denial about what’s happening here.”

I fist the jacket, wanting to argue with her but can’t find the words because I begrudgingly know she’s right.

“I don’t know what it’s like to lose a partner like that, but I want to find someone who looks at me the same way you probably looked at her. And whatever we’re doing now, I thinkwe should end here as friends. Before it turns into something that both of us are too uncomfortable to address.”

I try to smirk but fail, feeling defeated. I don’t know why but talking about Hayley with Alina, and having Alina walk away is… uncomfortable. Like a part of me is trying to detach from Hayley and I’m trying my hardest to cling to it, to respect her and what we had. But the only way I can make space for Alina is if I let go. And I just can’t.

I can’t even laugh it off this time, and the truth of this situation is as shocking as it is a rude awakening.

Alina steps on her tippy-toes and presses a kiss to my cheek. “Thanks for the fun, Will, and I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

Ironic, considering I’m one of the best at finding things. And yet, as I watch Alina walk away, I can’t help but wonder if I’m letting something important go.

But I’m frozen in place. I’m determined to honor my late wife and our marriage. Because if I don’t… doesn’t that lessen what we had?

CHAPTER 42

Alina

Ijolt in the back seat of the cab, a heavy sigh escaping my lips. I don’t know why, but I feel like I just broke up with him, even though we weren’t anything serious. I had a lot of fun with Will, but the moment I realized even the town I grew up in was associated with his deceased wife in some way… I felt selfish. Greedy almost. And slightly jealous.

When Steven asked for my number, I looked at Will because I was confused. He said it was okay, but his hands were possessively screaming that I was his.

Maybe we’re two fucked up people who no time soon would discover what love is. Well, certainly not Will, who already had his great love. But if anything, Will reminded me of something that feels like it’s missing from my own life.

It was just sex, just fun, yet we’ve slowly been becoming attached to each other. Or maybe that was just me, and I’m romanticizing something that isn’t there. I mean, Maria does it all the time, so why would it be so different for me?

I pinch the bridge of my nose. When did I get so sappy?

It was great sex. Nothing more. Nothing less. And yet the way he looked at me when I walked away was as if someone had stolen his puppy.

I harden my resolve, deciding to focus on what has always gotten me by. I was the only one I could depend on, and in less than two weeks, I’ll be back in London—end of story.

I tip the Uber driver as I step out of the car, rubbing my shoulders at the chill in the air. The front porch light turns on, and I’m not surprised to find Mom still awake, watching one of her favorite dramas on TV.

“You’re back earlier than I expected,” she says as she mutes the TV. I bend over to undo my heels at the door. When I don’t say anything, she comes over and leans against the wall. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, the night just shifted quickly, is all,” I reply, not wanting to elaborate. Once I kick the heels off, my phone dings in my purse. When I check it, I see a message from a number I don’t recognize and see Steven’s name at the end. “There were some people there I went to school with,” I tell her. “Remember Steven, the guy I dated for like two months or something?”

“Oh, yes. You broke up with him because he had bad breath if I remember correctly.” I laugh at that, then push off the door and kiss her cheek.

“And what about your actual date? Where did Will go?” she asks, crossing her arms over her chest.

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