Page 84 of Misguided Vows

“Then what am I supposed to make of it?” she asks. “Were you meant to finish me?”

“No, I would’ve never done that.” I sigh, defeated, and go on. “The only reason I took the job in the first place was because you were already working for my sister at the time, and I became curious. It wasn’t difficult to recommend you return to New York to work for Dawson. They didn’t know about it, by the way. I thought this way I could watch you closely while I waited for him to pay the remainder of my fees, but then I started to get to know you, taste you, be with you…” She was a blessing when she was only ever meant to be a paycheck.

“I’m so mad at you. And I don’t even have the fight in me right now,” she says, sounding defeated.

I sigh, exhausted, as I rest my chin on the top of her head. “Neither do I, love.”

She’s quiet for a moment, then says, “You know, when I left him, I thought I was doing the right thing. Their mother had just passed, and he planned on using all the inheritance and family jewels that were passed down to his younger sister. He’d already bled me dry of all my money, and I’d been stupid enough to let him. His sister, Tilly, though…” She chokes on that. “She was only eighteen at the time. She didn’t have any other family, and I thought if I stole the jewelry, I could get the money back that he took from me. But more importantly, I wanted her to get out of that environment. So I gave them to her so she could get a ticket anywhere and have enough money to set up a new life. I thought I was helping.”

I’m rubbing her shoulder as she talks. I already know the end of this story, that the young woman she’s talking about ended up involved in the wrong scene with drugs and ultimately committed suicide. Some paths are inevitable. Sometimes, you can offer a person the tools they need to escape, but if they don’t have the courage to embrace a new environment, they’ll go back to their old ways.

I can’t help but smirk, thinking about how much that lesson applies to me.

“I’ll replace everything he took from you tenfold,” I tell her, with every intention of doing exactly that. Money means nothing to me. I have more than enough to set her free again. “No plane included this time, though.”

I see the corner of her mouth tilt up. “I really hate you, you know that, right? I’m just too tired to cry or fight right now.”

“I know.”

“I never want to see you again after today.” She looks up at me, and I’m forced to face the carnage of my own making. “Will, you might think you care about me, but I think today you saw more of your wife disappearing again than me.”

Her words pierce straight into my chest. “That’s not true,” I say, but my voice breaks.

“Isn’t it? We can try to make this look like a fantasized version, but the truth is you can’t let go of Hayley, and I won’t make you. I don’t know if I can ever trust you after finding out that all of this was built on a lie.”

“I never lied.”

“But you did, Will—about so many things. I was a target. You orchestrated every part of my life over the last three months. You hide behind smiles and laughs, when, deep down, you’re one of the most miserable people I know. And I want to be with someone who can move forward with me. I won’t be compared to anyone else, and I don’t think you’re able to grow past that.”

My grip tightens around her as I retreat into myself, taken in by the shackles that have kept me beside my wife’s grave all these years.

“I was terrified to lose you today,” I say honestly. “Not because of Hayley. Because ofyou.”

She twists in my arms and puts her hand on my cheek. “I know, but it’s not enough. And that’s okay. Emotions are high because of what we’ve just experienced, but it doesn’t change the fact that we should still be parting ways on that bridge.”

I go to argue with her, but I can’t. And I can’t let go of her either.

My mind is a jumble of commotion, the thought of moving forward terrifying. But I know come tomorrow, with energy restored, she’ll hate me. Her viper tongue will be back, and it’ll lash at me for the secrets I kept from her. I know everything about her, and there are only small pockets of myself that I ever truly let her see.

She deserves better than me.

CHAPTER 49

Alina

When I wake up, Will is gone. I’m not surprised. And, in fact, I prefer it this way. The nurses check up on me, but all in all, I’m doing okay.

Everything about yesterday feels like a blur, and I’m still so in shock by the revelation of Jack hiring Will and re-entering my life, as well as the silent prayers I’ve made for Tilly. I’m sad to know she didn’t get out.

I turn my nose up at the breakfast they offer. Although there doesn’t appear to be anything wrong with it, my stomach churns with nausea. I haven’t been able to keep anything down since the fire, and, who knows, maybe it’ll take me a few days, but I’ve certainly been thirsty.

Honey arrives before I’m allowed to have visitors, coming in with a bagel and coffee. “I figured you’d be hungry,” she says with a smile, her pink, flowery, free-flowing dress swirling around her legs.

The moment the smell of the coffee hits my nose, bile rises in my throat, and I race to the bathroom to vomit into the sink.

“Are you okay?” she calls out.

I wipe at my mouth. I only vomited up liquid, but still, it’s disgusting. “Better than ever,” I lie, splashing cool water on myface. When I think I’m okay, I rejoin her, and she has the coffee on the other side of the room.

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