Page 212 of Ashley & the A-Listers

Sometimes, being able to escape, to pretend to be another person, was the best part of his job.

The only downside to the job meant that it eventually ended.

Cam sat in his trailer, waiting for River as soon as set had been dismissed. He’d given Ashley and Dylan an update, and they’d practically skipped off together, humming. Through the bond he could feel their excitement, their hope and joy, and it was fucking infectious.

He was still covered in dirty-looking makeup and his stupid stained tank top. He at least changed into a plain black one. Cameron wiped his sweaty palms against his thighs and put his phone away after sending a text.

River.

Cameron missed him so fucking much sometimes it was hard to breathe around it.

Missed him constantly tapping the keys on his laptop, his scent, his touch, his voice and the way his hair curled funny in that one spot behind his ear.

He wanted those things—that beta—in his life, and Cameron needed him to know how serious he was about it.

A knock on the trailer door startled him, and he stood up, hand shaking as he reached out to open the door.

He tried not to make it obvious that he was drinking in every inch of River from head to toe.

“Hi,” Cameron said, breath stuck in his throat.

“Hi,” River said, adjusting a stack of papers in his hands.

He stepped back, and River entered and it was… awkward.

“I thought I’d have time to… rehearse,” Cam said.

“Rehearse what?” River asked.

“My apology,” Cam offered. “Where do I even start? The beginning?” He winced. The past few weeks had been filled with memories, a new light shed on each of them. Times when Cam blew off River’s concerns, blaming his management, his fans, everyone but himself.

“We can start wherever we need to,” River said, and Cameron realized he was nervous. He hadn’t seen nerves on River in… well, probably not since they first met at the auditions, then the table reading.

“What are you holding?” Cameron asked, motioning to the thick sheath of papers.

River glanced down. “I’ve been working on something. I’ll get to it. First… I’m sorry,” he said, moving forward. “I want to explain a bit more, offer context to my actions. Not excuses!” he added when Cameron’s lips parted.

“I’ll do the same. I’ll tell you every thought I’ve had the past few weeks, if you want.”

He sat on the tiny daybed and motioned for River to sit across from him, in the bench seat to the left of the door.

About six feet separated them. Cameron’s heart was pounding, and he wanted to reach out so badly.

He watched River stare down at the papers before the beta cleared his throat.

“The director really chewed you out, huh?” River asked.

Cam’s lips almost twitched before pulling back down, because this was serious and he wasn’t in the clear yet. “Worth it,” he said, shaking his head ruefully. “I meant what I said,” he continued, lifting his gaze. There was the slightest hint of a smile on River’s lips.

“As ridiculous as it was… I meant it, too—what Roderick said.” He sobered. “I love you, Cameron, and what I did was fucked up.”

Cameron sighed. “I just… I didn’t understand at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how far I had pushed you.”

River ran a hand through his already messy hair. It had a bit of a sheen to it, and Cameron wondered how long it’d been since he washed it. “I was just… insecure. I mean, your management didn’t take me seriously as a partner, and the longer we acted like it didn’t bother us, I started feeling like maybeyoudidn’t take me seriously as a partner, either.” River’s throat bobbed with a swallow as he looked up. “And then the heat. When you wanted an alpha instead of me, it just felt like confirmation.”

Regret welled up in Cameron. “That morning, after the heat—Iknewsomething wasn’t right, but I just… overlooked it, because it didn’t benefit me to push, to ask you how you really felt. What kind of partner does that? I’m sorry, River.”

“I’ve never been in a relationship as serious as ours,” River said. “I never got the chance, because I was always on the back-burner until someone else came along. When we talked after the heat, I really thought,This is it. This is when it becomes real.”

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