Page 125 of The Ruse

I’d only been to the library once—during the tour Cambrielle had given Ava and me the first time we’d come to the Hastings’ estate. It was a beautiful room with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, complete with one of those super cool ladders that could roll all around the room.

Nash flipped the switch on the gas fireplace and gestured for me to sit on one of the leather armchairs beside it as he took a seat in the chair across from it.

“So, what did you need to talk about?” he asked, looking as uncomfortable as I felt.

“Well…” I swallowed, trying to figure out the exact words I should say. I’d never had to break up with someone like this before.

All my other boyfriends had either just ghosted me, moved away, or we’d come to the realization together that we weren’t a good fit.

None of them had been as kind and thoughtful and sweet as Nash.

“Well…?” Nash gently prodded when I didn’t say anything.

I sighed. I needed to just rip off the Band-Aid. “I guess there isn’t really a right way to do this.” I twisted my fingers together in my lap. “But I, um, I wanted to come over and talk to you because I know that we’ve kind of had something growing between us the past several weeks. And well…” I looked down at my hands, unable to meet his gaze. “I just don’t think it’s the best idea for us to keep going on dates.”

I stopped and kept staring at my hands, feeling my heart pounding everywhere as I waited for him to say something.

There was nothing but silence for a few agonizing moments, and I wondered if I should have said things differently. Maybe given him more warning, since now that I thought about it, this probably seemed like it was coming out of nowhere to him.

But then he said, “I see.”

I looked up at his face. His expression showed he was kind of stunned and still processing what I’d just said.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t realize how I really felt until this afternoon and…” I shrugged helplessly. “And I just…” Did I really have to say this last part? Did I really need to bring another guy into this?

“You have stronger feelings for someone else,” he guessed. “For Asher, right?”

I pressed my lips together and nodded, hating the pain that instantly flashed in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Nash.”

“How long have you liked him?” He looked down and scratched at a spot on his jeans. “Before our date? He said you kissed the night before…”

“That was just for the play,” I tried to explain. But since that kiss had probably been a little more involved than was necessary for that song, I said, “I mean, I guess I started having feelings before then. When I got to know him better at the cabin…”

“That long ago?”

“I was still hoping it would be you,” I hurried to say, so he wouldn’t think I’d just been stringing him along. “I really did like you so much and didn’t expect for things to change.”

“But it sounds like they did.” His jaw flexed, like he was fighting a strong wave of disappointment.

“Yes,” I admitted, hating that I was doing this to someone who was so awesome and had never done anything wrong.

He’d simply just not been my guy.

Nash focused his gaze on the fire. When I studied his profile, I thought I saw moisture in his blue eyes before he wiped it away.

Aw, Nash.

He blew out a long breath before looking back at me and saying, “Well, this sucks.”

“I know.” And I wanted to tell him that it sucked a little for me, too, since I had wanted him for so long. But mentioning it really wouldn’t help anything, so I kept quiet.

He stared into the fire again, as if still processing what just happened. Then he pushed himself to stand up. “I guess that’s probably all you came here to say, then?”

“Y-yeah,” I said. Was he going to kick me out now?

He must have seen the surprise on my face because he said, “A huge part of me wants to put up a fight and tell you that we could be amazing together and that you’re picking the wrong guy.” He sighed and rocked back on his heels. “But I’m guessing it would only make me look stupider and do nothing to change your mind.”

“You wouldn’t look stupid,” I said. “But yeah… I don’t think it would change my mind.”

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