Page 61 of Her Football Star Ex

“Is there something on your ceiling?” she asked.

“I’m listening.” I ignored her question, impatient for her to get on with it so I could tell her that she was ridiculous to think I was sabotaging all my dates on purpose.

“Okay good.” She cleared her throat. “So first on my list is Andy: the blond-haired, blue-eyed scientist who just moved here from Australia.” She glanced at her paper momentarily. “When you got back from your date at Roco’s, you claimed it was an okay date and the conversation was interesting enough, but ultimately, his hair was too light and his hands weren’t manly enough.”

“He had girly hands!” I gasped, shocked that she’d actually written all of that down. “They were practically the same size as mine.”

“With Trevor,” she said, ignoring me. “You said he was well traveled and had a cute Southern accent but wasn’t tall enough for you to wear heels around. And he didn’t know anything about football, which you said was a crime.”

Well, when you lived in the same town as the Dragons, it kind of was a crime.

She continued reading from her list. “And Milo’s eyes weren’t a dark enough color of brown. Gavin’s voice wasn’t deep enough. Robert dressed too metro and said he would never lounge around in athletic clothes. Julio wasn’t muscular enough. Evan liked the wrong kind of music. And Ross wouldn’t eat sushi with you.”

I waited for her to say more, but that seemed to be the end of her list.

“So what if I have a type?” I said. “I like a tall, dark, and handsome guy who is at least six inches taller than me, likes sports, and is adventurous with his food choices. Lots of women go for that.”

“Then what about Doug?”

“What about him?”

“You said, and I quote: ‘He checked pretty much every box, but when he walked you to your car, he stood on the right side of you instead of the side closest to traffic. So you couldn’t give him a second date.’”

“Is it so wrong that I want a guy who follows proper etiquette and tries to keep me safe when we’re walking somewhere?” No. It wasn’t. “Vincent always walked on the outside, closest to traffic.” It was a tiny gesture, but when we first started dating, it had told me that he was a gentleman. And I wanted to date and marry a gentleman.

Ivy was quiet for moment, and that was when I realized what I’d just said.

I’d just compared Doug to Vincent.

I closed my eyes and sighed. Then picking up my iPad to have a better view of my friend, I said, “So maybe you might have the teensiest point.”

Her blue eyes totally had an “I told you so” gleam about them. “They do say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I leaned my iPad against the wall in front of me again and picked up my mascara to give my lashes one more coat. “So if you’re so smart, what do you suggest I do?”

“As I see it, you have a couple of options,” she said.

“And they are?”

“Well, as you know, I too have a little experience with holding grudges against the man I won’t let myself admit I still have feelings for.”

“Justin stood you up for our high school prom,” I said. “Vincent cheated on me when we were married. I’m not sure those are on the same level.”

“I know,” she said. “Just hear me out.”

I finished swiping the mascara on my lashes and picked up my long-wear, shimmery pink lipstick.

“You told me at Christmas that you still miss him sometimes,” she said. “And that there were times when you wondered if you divorced him too quickly.”

“It was the holidays and I was going to have my first Christmas alone.” I paused from applying my lipstick to look at her. “Of course I was feeling sad about things.”

She didn’t seem to care about my excuse, though, because she said, “I know what he did was horrible and that there’s still a lot of pain and heartache there, but I wonder if you don’t owe it to yourself to explore things with him a little more. You don’t have to kiss him again or anything, since you might not be ready for that yet. But you guys were a great couple for a long time. I think that maybe instead of trying to find a Vincent 2.0, you might owe it to yourself to feel things out with Vincent 1.0 before you shut the door on him completely.”

And even though I knew it was completely irrational, my stomach decided to flutter with hope as I took in what she was saying.

But my stomach told me to do lots of stupid things all the time: like eating that entire roll of Oreos last night and getting that extra helping of pasta today at lunch even though I wasn’t hungry anymore. So really, my stomach couldn’t be trusted.

Logic was much better to rely on.

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