Page 48 of Her Football Star Ex

I dropped my hands and stepped away again. Wishing I could go back in time and tell myself not to be such an idiot.

“It’s not all your fault,” she said in a quiet voice I could barely hear.

I looked back to her face.

She swallowed and stepped closer, close enough that if I reached out I’d be able to pull her against me.

“I could have told you to wait if I had really wanted to,” she continued.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“But I guess I figured it was my one chance to nab you and make sure you were mine, so I’d gone ahead and done it.”

My throat constricted, an ache forming at the back of my throat over the thought that at one time, she had thought I was worth calling hers.

It took a moment, but once I could trust my voice not to crack, I said, “I hope you know that even though I made a million mistakes, one thing never changed.”

Her green eyes widened, as if she was almost afraid of what I might say next.

Like it might hurt her.

But I had to say it.

“I never regretted marrying you, Emerson.” I reached out and took her hands in mine, running my thumbs along her knuckles. “And even now that we’re not together, I still don’t regret it, because you gave me some of the happiest years of my life. You gave me Jaxon. And even if we don’t always see eye to eye on everything, I feel lucky that I still get to be involved in your life even if it’s just because we share a son.”

She sniffled, and that was when I noticed her eyes were more watery than they’d been before. So I did something I hadn’t dared do in over a year: I tugged her closer to me and invited her into my arms.

At first she seemed to hesitate, like she was afraid of getting close, but then she sighed and closed the distance between us. When she rested her head against my chest and slipped her arms behind my waist, it filled my soul in a way it hadn’t been filled since we’d broken up.

We fit together.

Her body next to mine still felt right after all this time.

“You’re an amazing woman,” I whispered, resting my chin on the top of her head. And even though it ripped out my heart to say it, I said, “And even if things couldn’t work out between you and me, I hope the next guy you give your heart to appreciates and understands what he has. Because you deserve the best, Emerson. You deserve the world.”

A world where I would be the supporting side character instead of the lead.

In that moment I knew that I would always love Emerson. It was just one of those irrefutable truths that would always be.

But maybe truly loving her now and wanting the best for her meant being there for her as she moved on.

I could only hope that someday I’d be able to move on, too.

19

Emerson

I don’t knowhow long Vincent and I stood there in each other’s arms. How many heartbeats had passed as I rested my head against his strong chest? How many breaths we each took as the minutes ticked by?

But even though I knew I should let him go and head for bed because I had work early in the morning, I couldn’t seem to pull myself away. I didn’t want to ruin this tender moment we were having, because I knew once we stepped away, I’d likely never have a reason to be in his arms again.

And the thought of never being held by him again hurt more today than it had in a long time.

We had come to a resolution that we’d been missing over this past year. We had both hurt each other a lot—said things we didn’t mean. But something was apparent in all of this: we had both cared deeply for one another for a period of our life.

We had simply let our insecurities cause a divide and leave us vulnerable to the outside forces that would inevitably break us.

Even though I was still processing everything we’d said tonight—because there was a lot—the steady beat of his heart next to my ear reassured me that we would come away from this okay. And maybe, just maybe, full healing was closer than I had ever imagined before.

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