Page 81 of Devil's Thirst

A car whizzes past us, kick-starting the world back into motion.

I take a small step backward. The woman takes my movement as her cue to pass. She walks forward, her eyes fixed on the sidewalk at her feet. We don’t speak to one another. I think we both prefer it that way, or maybe it’s just me. It’s hard to trust my own judgment at this point. What I do know is she’s merely a normal woman taken in by a conman like all the rest of us.

The truth is somewhat deflating, but not in a bad way, per se. It’s simply sad to know what could have been without the poisonous influence of a selfish, evil man.

And if you let him drive a wedge further between you and Noemi, you’ve let him win.

Shit, it’s the truth.

I’ve been letting my father steal that relationship from me for years now. That has been my choice, as much as I hate to admit it. I let shame keep me away from my sister. The one person in the world willing to risk her life to protect me. What a terrible way to show my gratitude.

Fuuuuck.

I have a lot of apologizing to do—to both women in my life.

It’s time to go home.

CHAPTER 38

AMELIE

I’ve never witnesseda drive-by shooting, but I imagine I got a glimpse of how it might feel. Sante’s whirlwind visit leaves me stunned. I can’t imagine what would have him so upset that he’d lash out like that. I play his words over and over in my head.

…families keep secrets from one another, which leads to people making bad choices…

What secret did Conner reveal to Sante? He must have learned something that upset him—something that affected his decisions. It wasn’t exactly his decision to move to Sicily, so I doubt it’s related to that. Something about his father’s death? Could be. Aside from that, the only thing I know he’s been involved with lately is me … and Talbot.

I lower myself back onto the couch, a chill setting in.

Sante has been working with Oran and the other Byrnes to take down John Talbot. They know he has video of Lina. They’ll be hunting for that video.

Stupid,stupidAmelie.

I never considered what else they might find in that search.

My stomach seizes painfully tight, and I can’t hold back the vomit that rises in my throat. I run to the bathroom and make it just in time. I heave until my abs are sore, and nothing butacidic saliva is coming out. After I rinse my mouth in the sink, I sit on the cold tile floor with my back against the wall. Freya lies next to me with a gentle whine. I absently stroke shaking fingers through her soft black fur to comfort her.

…families keep secrets from one another, which leads to people making bad choices…

He knows.

That’s why he couldn’t look me in the eye.

That’s why he couldn’t stand to stay here for more than a minute.

He knows that I’ve been keeping a secret from my family, and learning the truth has made him regret coming back for me. It all fits too perfectly.

He knows the truth and wants nothing to do with me.

Pain unlike any I’ve ever known cleaves my chest wide open. I thought I’d known every form of pain before. As it turns out, there’s always a new and more devastating variation lurking in the shadows.

I hold my hand flat over my chest, where I’m sure a gaping hole must be because only a physical injury could hurt this bad. Surely, his rejection can’t be the sole cause of such agony.

Yes and no.

His rejection confirms my greatest fear—I am too damaged to ever be loved.

I am too damaged.

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