Page 76 of Devil's Thirst

“I don’t smoke.” His brows knit together in bafflement as he looks at his cousin for an explanation.

My eyes scrunch tightly shut as realization plows into me like a wrecking ball, shattering the perfect world I’d started to construct in my head.

“It was you.” I open burning eyes and level Sante with a world of accusation. “It was you the whole time.”

His resolute stare is all the confirmation I need.

When my mother betrayed me, it hurt but wasn’t all that unexpected. She’d never pretended to love me. While I haven’t known Sante for long, he’d made me believe he actually cared.

His betrayal carves a gaping wound in my already mottled heart.

“Howcouldyou?” Fury rises inside me like a wrathful Valkyrie. He made me think The Society was after me—maybe not intentionally, but he terrified me regardless.

I shove Sante as hard as I can.

“Amelie, calm down. Let’s talk about it.” He takes my wrists in his hands as I loose a savage scream.

“Howdareyou tell me to calm down?” Righteous tears blur my vision. I’m only vaguely aware of Tommy slinking from the apartment. All my rage is focused on the man who has been making a fool of me since the day we met. “You manipulated me. Terrified me by acting like a stalker—you were in my bedroom watching me sleep! And that wasn’t the first time, was it? The things that appeared out of nowhere, making me think I was going nuts. It wasyou. I called the cops because of you, and that put me inactualdanger. Talbot might have never bothered me again if it wasn’t for you.” I yank my hands from his grasp, my chest heaving.

“I had no way of knowing that, and I never meant to manipulate you.”

“Oh, so having Tommy pretend to be the stalker so you could scare him off—that wasn’t meant as a show for my benefit?” How stupid does he think I am?

“No, ahhh,fuck.” He slams his fist into a kitchen cabinet, shattering the wood panel. Freya barks next door, but we both ignore her. “I was trying to figure out why you wouldn’t call the cops.”

“So Tommy had to get his jaw broken so you’d know why I wasn’t reporting my stalker?”

“Isaactechnically didn’t know about the stalker,” he tries to explain, only digging himself deeper.

“Oh, the fake neighbor you created needed information about the fake stalker you also created—all of it an intricate web of lies—forwhat?” I raise my hands out to my sides, at a loss to understand. “So you coulddateme? The only way that makes any sense is in terms of manipulation. You wanted me to act and feel certain ways rather than get to know the real you.”

“You have everything backward. The point is, I wanted you to seeexactlywho I am,” he growls, his anger getting the better of him. “I’m the man who sees what he wants and goes after it. I’m the man who will break a man’s jaw before I let him disrespect you. You think I couldn’t walk past those Russians? I did that because I wanted you tosee.”

“Why? So I’d be scared of you?”

“No, so you’d love me in spite of it all,” he roars. “Because this is who I am.” He slaps a palm against his chest. “I will track you and mark my body with your name and annihilate every one of your enemies. I won’t hide that from you and trick you into thinking you’ve married some motherfucking Prince Charming because I’mnot. I’m the villain, and I want you to love me anyway.”

Heartbreak wraps its vicious claws around my chest and squeezes the air from my lungs.

“This isn’t healthy, Sante.” Tears leave salty trails down my cheeks as the weight of the world settles on my shoulders. “This isn’t how trust is formed.”

He steps closer, eyes gone dark as midnight. “Do not decide how to view us based on someone else’s standards. Fuck healthy. Fuck normal. Have I ever hurt you?”

I rake my teeth over my bottom lip, knowing that aside from this moment, I can’t honestly say yes.

“No, but—”

He doesn’t let me continue. “How do I make you feel when you’re around me?That’swhat you should be asking yourself—not whether this ishealthy. You and I, we aren’t healthy. We’re both fucked up in a way that we’re perfect for one another. You know it’s true if you’re honest with yourself. So what’s it going to be, Amelie? Are you going to let yourself be happy, or will you run?”

CHAPTER 36

AMELIE

I’ve never felt moreconfused in my life. I can hear how his argument makes sense, but I’ve seen dysfunction, and I don’t ever want to go back to that. I’ve dreamed my entire life of one day having a supportive and loving family like I see in the people around me.

What you want is to be happy, and if he gives you that, does the rest matter?

Isn’t that how every abusive relationship starts? I’ve seen all the true crime shows. I’ve heard about the pattern of sweeping a woman off her feet only to grow more controlling as time goes on. Like Sante said, however, he’s never pretended to be charming. And he’s not controlling so much as he’s overprotective. How do I know that won’t intensify to an unacceptable degree down the road?

---