Page 124 of Crush

“What about?” I asked blankly. I knew that was a stupid question as there was so much to talk about. The huge trauma of the last hour for instance. But I was dazed and confused and that ball of guilt was like a boulder in my stomach.

Max ran his shredded knuckles over my cheek, “I think we can both agree that there are things left unsaid between us,” he explained.

Sadness enveloped me.

“You’ve been through a lot, we both have, but I can’t wait any longer. I’m done playing games.”

I was too. But I’d rather play them than not have them at all.

We both bathed and tried to wash the whole encounter off our bodies and I had the biggest lump in my throat. Max had helped me into the bath and then climbed into the shower. We didn’t talk, we’d just concentrated on getting clean.

It felt like there was blood on my hands.

Max’s side was badly bruised and he was clearly in pain as the water cascaded over his tattooed body. I wondered if he had broken ribs. It wouldn’t have surprised me as the fight had been so violent.

Seeing Max in that zone had terrified me as did the similarities between him and Zander.

But he’s not Zander, he would never hurt you. You can trust him.

My brain was scrambled and I suddenly didn’t know what I wanted.

As we dried ourselves, I asked Max to tell me about the men who had turned up. He explained that they were part of the mafia and that he had asked them for help. Max had met Kai Kinlan, the man who had spoken to me so softly in the yard, when he’d kidnapped Leonie, Gabe’s girlfriend. It sounded like something you would watch on the TV, totally surreal. Max explained that he had seen good in Kai and had offered him a deal. I remembered part of the deal was the offer of some property Max owned.

Max promised me that his involvement with Kinlan was finished now and that the deal was done.

He then asked me what the Kinlan had said to me.

“He just told me it was going to be OK, and that he had your back,” I replied. “I suppose he said that so I didn’t get hysterical or something.”

Max shook his head and said, “No. I think he probably meant it. He was on our side to start with.”

“It didn’t look that way to me.”

“I know, but he’s the mafia. They like to toy with people.”

At that point, I hoped I never saw another member of the mafia again.

I was standing on the balcony overlooking the gardens. My clean body was now wrapped in my new silky blue robe, my old one having been ruined by the fire.

The fire that could have killed your horses. A fire that he started.

During the hour it took to get clean, I replayed all the horrible things Zander had done in the past and the present.

But did he deserve to die? Yes, he could have killed you.

The salvage company had removed both vehicles and the yard down below now looked empty. I stared down at the space where the stables had been, it was still a mess of charred remains with the black stumps from the burnt trees surrounding it.

So much damage and destruction and all because of that one man.

I moved my hand to the bottom of my back as I thought about my scarred flesh. Marks thathehad caused. The beating I had taken that night had been painful physically and emotionally.

Zander is dead. It’s over.

I was tired and weak but I knew that Max and I needed to talk.

So much had happened over such a short space of time and my head was full of conflicting feelings. I was so confused. Things had become so complicated.

“Does your back still give you any pain?” Max said from behind me. I didn’t turn around, I just continued to stare down into the yard.

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