Page 86 of Crush

I suddenly felt like I was in an alternative reality as a ball of dread exploded in my stomach; that terrifying feeling sat somewhere between my guts and my legs. If there was a twilight zone, I was sure I was in it.

Walk Amber, you can do this.

I knew he was out of prison, so his appearance shouldn’t have knocked me for six. But it did; severe shock at seeing him in the flesh bounced between my temples like a wiper blade. He was still sex on legs with a body made for sin. But I knew from experience that this sexy man was a bottomless pit that swallowed your self-worth whole.

Zander stood across the road, facing the muddy entrance into Max’s construction site with the Thames behind him. Luckily, the area was busy. People were milling around, some jogging or walking dogs and there were a handful of people by the railings looking out at the river.

I stared across, taking in the intenseness of his expression. One thing was more apparent than ever, this man was a stranger to me now.

I glanced over to Dexter. He watched me intently, waiting for me to climb into the car.

“I’ll just be a minute,” I said with a nod towards where Zander was waiting. Dexter turned and glanced over to where I had motioned, his eyes narrowing suspiciously.

“Do you want me to come with you?” He questioned, his hand sliding inside his coat.

“No, I’m fine. It’s an old friend,” I lied. Alexander had been many things to me, but I’d soon realised ‘friend’ wasn’t one of them. “I won’t be long, wait for me in the car, please.”

I swallowed as I awaited Dexter’s reply, “As you wish. Signal if you need me.” The hand that had moved underneath his coat dropped to his side and he pushed the back door closed and made his way to the front.

A shiver slipped down my spine. Zander had kidnapped me once before but surely that couldn’t happen in broad daylight? Even though I was nervous, I felt safe, especially with Dexter nearby. He was my driver and security and I knew from his earlier reaction that he had brought his gun.

I nodded my thanks as Dexter climbed back into the car. His focus remained on Zander, and I could see by theset of his jaw that he wasn’t happy. I so hoped he didn’t call my father. I imagined he knew exactly who the man across the street waiting for me was. Daddy hadn’t increased my security detail, but he had explained at lunch that he’d told Dexter to be on high alert and why.

Pulling my bag tighter into my shoulder, I crossed the road and moved slowly towards the man who had been my first lover at just fifteen. The thought of it left a sick taste in my mouth now.

I took my time as I needed to regain some of my composure. Zander had changed with age, but he still packed that same attractive punch to my hormones. He looked taller than I remembered even though I would have gainedsomeheight since the last time I had seen him. Zander was big and broad and still mind-numbingly good-looking with a square jaw, shrewd silver eyes and black hair that was greying at the temples; that was new.

Standing before me there was no doubt that he was still the hunter, and I the prey. Anxiety pooled into my senses, making me feel hot. I couldn’t allow my previous history with this man toaffect the woman I now was.

And that was the deciding factor for me,rightthere. I no longer wanted to be the prey; at least not his. The man standing before me had screwed so much with my head as a girl that I knew I could not allow him to do that to me as a woman. During my teens, he had made me into a needy mess, desperate for any scraps of attention he could feed me.

I would not allow this man to blow my future to shit. That slow burning ember in the pit of my stomach was nerves and that was all—ithadto be. How could I feel anything towards a man who had pounced on me as a minor? When I didn’t know any better.

As I crossed the road and came to stand before him, he stared down into my face, missing nothing, “Freckles, you haven’t changed at all. Still so beautiful,” Zander purred, his tone still rich and throaty as I remembered. His nickname forme flipped a switch, it made me feel like the fifteen-year-old version of myself, unprotected and vulnerable. Panic started to bubble beneath the surface and helplessness started to take over. I took a step backwards and his eyes narrowed at the gesture.

“Zander. I should say good to see you but I’m not sure that’s the case.”

I paused and took a deep breath before I quickly added, “How have you been?”

The man had lost his freedom for the last five and a half years and I was partly the reason for that. Although I hadn’t testified, maybe he still wanted revenge.

He grimaced, his brow scrunching, “It’s aprison, what do you think?”

I chewed my lip, “Well, I can’t imagine it would be easy. You do know that I didn’t testify.”

He smiled but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I know. I knew you wouldn’t. A woman such as you would never betray her man.”

Fuck. He went there quickly. I arched an eyebrow, “But I wasn’t a woman was I, I was a girl.”

Zander dashed across his jaw and said with a head tilt, “You’re point being?”

Straightening my shoulders I got swiftly to it, “I was only just sixteen Zander. I was terrified when you didn’t come back.”

There was an awkward beat of silence.

“I know and that’s why I’m here now.”

A strange thick silence stretched between us before he said, “Did you miss me?” he drawled, pushing a strand of my hair back behind my ear. I managed not to flinch at his touch as he stared down at me with an odd affectionate look. That wasn’t good. I had to crane my neck to meet his predatory gaze. The man ate me up, his eyes moving to sweep up and down my body like a starved man. I felt a dart of relief that I had belted my raincoat giving me a layer of protection.

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