Page 35 of Troy

“Have you finished? Now it’s my turn, Troy.” Raff’s breath caresses my skin, “I am not going any-fucking-where. Not out of guilt or pity, but because I love you. I love you so much that I have hardly left your side for the last eight days, do you know how many hours that is? Because I do, I have converted every second, minute and hour into a bargaining tool with God, and I’m not a believer, begging him to give me just a second more time with you. It’s me who isn’t worthy of you; I don’t deserve for you to want me, or to be the one to take you home because it was my father who did this to you. Please let me stay with you, please don’t tell me to walk away, because I don’t think I can.”

The wetness of his tears drips down on my cheeks and on my lips and I lick up a droplet, taking in his pain. “I thought you’d want to get away from me.”

“Never, baby, you’re stuck with me. Can I kiss you? Will it hurt your mouth?” His eyes fix on my lips as I wash away another tear, “I’ll be gentle, I promise.”

“I’m sure you don’t want to; I’m guessing my breath isn’t too great right now.” I try to smile but the pain is too great.

“I’ve lived on too much shit coffee and too many cigarettes for mine to be much better and I really don’t care; I just want to reconnect.”

As his lips touch mine, a deep moan builds up inside my chest, making him jump away. “What? Is it that bad after all?” I try to joke but it hurts my ribs.

“No, I thought I hurt you.” He laughs when he sees me blush, “I’d better try that again then.”

This time it is perfect, soft enough not to hurt but long enough to make it hot. Butterflies stir and awaken in my stomach. Then Raff pulls away and I hear a chuckle at the door. Peeking across, I see Nico and Ryan in the doorway, grinning like loons.

“I’m sure he’s supposed to be resting, Raff.” Ryan laughs as he ambles past him and drops a kiss on my forehead. “Good to see you back in the land of the living, Troy.”

“It’s good to be back, did I miss anything good?” I can’t believe how wonderful it feels to be alive when, for the last week, I thought I was already dead. I want to talk to Nico about what I felt and about Franco staying close; he’ll know what to make if it.

Not long after, the doctor checks up on me and runs through the long list of procedures I underwent and what I may still need in future. Raff stays with me, not even leaving when the nurse comes in to remove the lines and monitors from my body. Nor when she wants to remove the catheter, laughing and making both me and her blush, saying he has seen more of my dick than she has.

“What? It’s true! I love your dick.” He blurts out.

By the time she is done, I’m washed and in a clean gown. Exhausted, my eyelids droop and I know sleep is about to take over my body. I’m left with only one drip, administering my pain relief, and I’m more than happy to leave that there for now.

“Climb up here, next to me, Raff, I need you to hold me.” I scoot to the side of my bed, giving him some space.

“I don’t know, baby; I don’t want to hurt you.” But I can see he wants to and hesitates, not wanting to break the rules.

“You won’t, I want to feel your heart beating as I lie in your arms.” Sighing as he kicks off his sneakers and, as gently as he can—taking care not to jostle me—he clambers up and embraces me.

“Fuck, I’ve missed this.” Raff sighs and closes his eyes. He is asleep in seconds, giving me time to inspect him properly. Not the ‘so glad you’re alive/awake’ Raff I had today, but the ‘bone-tired, too thin’ Raff who sleeps next to me. What has gone through his mind? How did he find out? Who got my phone call? Questions I will have to ask him. Although I am tired, I’m afraid to close my eyes; so much has gone on in my head I’m not sure what is real and what isn’t. Is this another part of the games my mind has played on me since the attack? Is this where Raff takes over in my dreams, letting Franco leave me alone? I don’t think I’m unconscious, I wasn’t in pain when I was with Franco and I hurt like a bastard now. I can’t believe that fucker! How the hell did I survive so many blows?I wonder what I look like, I bet I can’t be accused of being a pretty boy anymore. This makes me snort and Raff grunts, shifting slightly. His mouth parted, I narrowly reach it with my good hand and I let my fingertip trace the plump lower lip before following the outline of the cupids bow. I hold back a smile when he sighs and kisses the tip of my finger, a garbled ‘not now, babe’ escaping him. No, not now, but, hopefully, soon. I can’t be without him physically; I ache for him already. I expect to have a battle on my hands with that but I’m sure there are ways and means. Feeling more relaxed, I let need for sleep win me over and drift off dreamlessly.

My brain comes to life, waking me up before my body wants to, but I can’t work out what’s going on. Then, forcing my eyes to open, I remember. Troy! Shit! I’ve slept for the first time in over a week. Suddenly, I realize I’m alone on the hospital bed; Troy has gone. He can’t have gone far, he’s hardly able to walk, a fucked-up knee and broken arm won’t make for a quick getaway. Then there is a scuffle and some cussing, along with a laugh.

“Fuck! That’s freezing!” Troy’s laugh splutters through his exclamation but it’s enough to have me jumping off the bed. Charging into the bathroom, I notice a sheet covering the mirror, Troy’s back to it—so, even if it drops, he won’t see himself. I wonder if this is his choice or a recommendation from the nurse who has my man perching on a stool in nothing more than a pair of briefs while she holds the showerhead over him. They smile but I feel like I’ve been kicked in the gut when I see the full extent of his injuries. A black spider web of stitches blankets his hips and buttocks and a kaleidoscope of bruises covers nearly every inch of his back and torso. Fighting back the nausea, I take one more pace.

Troy looks up at me as I get my features under control; he does not need to see me recoil from his body. “Oh look, sleeping beauty has finally woken up. Although, I’m sure Aurora never snored once in her hundred-year sleep.” He scrutinizes me, appreciating my slovenly, sleep filled state.

“Disney quotes, really? Not wanting to state the obvious, but what’s going on here?” I wave my hand up and down in Troy’s direction.

“I want a shower, my hair smells and so does my body. I want my body wash, I want warm water and I want fluffy towels.” Troy pouts petulantly and, shaking my head, I smile.

“Okay, baby. But maybe I should take over from here. I’m sure this lovely lady doesn’t want to see any more of your body than she has to.” I pull my shirt over my head and watch the nurse’s eyes widen in surprise. “What? You don’t expect me to get under the water with him in my clothes, do you?”

Blushing furiously, she shakes her head and looks back at Troy for guidance. “It’s okay, Rachelle, he likes to go all alpha every now and then. But, as he’s about to take his pants off, I would leave now, while you can.” He smiles and pats her hand, “It’s okay, sweetie, he loves me.”

I laugh as she reddens further and scuttles past me, “So, baby, how do you want to do this?”

I love how he laughs at me, “I have no fucking clue, that’s why the nurse was doing it.”

“Okay, the splint is off your knee, so we can get that part of your body wet, but not your arm. Hmm.” I circle him and, reaching his front again, smile even though I want to get down on my knees and weep at the sight of his battered body.

“Don’t look at me like that, Rafferty.” He snaps at me, “I don’t need your sympathy, I need to wash my damn hair.”

Kneeling, I place my hands on his face, softly cupping his cheeks, then kiss him. I feel him relax into my touch and he almost purrs as I let the tip of my tongue slide over his lips. “Ugh! What the fuck is on your lips?” I pull back and wipe my mouth.

“It’s petroleum jelly, to stop my lips from cracking. Jeez, what a baby.” Troy grins.

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