Page 34 of Troy

Franco is slipping away from me. I have had him with me for what seems like a lifetime, but—as the pain has vanished—maybe it was my lifetime. Trying to reach out for him, imploring him not to leave me, I hear someone else’s voice, someone who means something to me, someone I need to find again. As I search for Franco, asking for his help, he fades.

“You need him more than me, tesoro. Go find him. He loves you.” Franco smiles sweetly, there is a hint of sadness but more acceptance. “Amore mio, Troy.”

Darkness wanes, a slow ethereal mist appearing, and I hear voices again, the constant beep of machinery. Then the mist clears as a brighter light shines through, the voices gain intensity and I distinguish between the two; I know both. Nico, I can hear Nico.

“Just get a shower, Raff, you are beginning to stink.” Nico chuckles. “Not really, but you will do, soon. Do you really want Troy to see you like this? When did you last sleep?”

“Fuck off, Nico; I showered yesterday and slept a few hours in the night. He’s waking up, I can feel it.”

A soft hand strokes my arm, Raff! I remember Raff. Yes, he is the one Franco talks about. I want to see him, the picture in my mind is blurry. I feel my eyelids flutter close again. Too bright, the light hurts my eyes.

“His sedation is wearing off and he is breathing by himself. It won’t be long, so I’m not fucking budging.” I smile at Raff’s gruff tone.

I want to speak: my mouth is too dry, my throat too sore, but I try regardless, “Raff?” No, that won’t do, it’s too quiet. Trying again, my tongue feels thick in my mouth but my voice is louder this time. “Raff, it’s too bright. Nico, leave him alone.”

“SHIT! He’s awake! Fuck! Go and get the nurse. Troy? Troy, baby, can you hear me? Squeeze my hand if you can hear me.” The excitement in Raff’s voice makes me grin but it hurts my mouth.

“Water, Raff; I need some water.” Christ, it hurts to talk.

“I need to get the doc first, baby. Oh, God, I can’t believe you’re awake. I love you, Troy, I love you so much.” I feel a zephyr-like, almost there, kiss on my lips. Then it’s gone.

Suddenly there is more movement around me, I pick up on footsteps of at least another two people. Then the questions start.

“Hi, Troy, can you open your eyes for me?” A soft, female voice is close to my head.

“It’s too bright. I need a drink.” I grumble.

The room darkens and the question is repeated. This time I try to force my eyes open. It’s dark but I still need to blink a few times to get the room and people into focus. My eyes flick to the left and right to see who is here with me.

“Oh, baby, it’s so good to see those gorgeous, brown eyes again.” Raff comes into my line of sight and the vision of him makes my heart beat faster. The beeping increases as I reach up to touch him.

“Well, I’m guessing, by your rapid beating heart, you’re pleased to see me.” Raff snickers.

“Yeah, have you missed me?” I fix my eyes on him and notice the gloss of tears in his eyes. “Hey, Raff, don’t cry. It’s okay.”

“You have scared the shit out of me, baby.” Raff wipes his eyes but his smile remains.

Then I see a straw coming towards me. “Just take a few, small sips, Troy, take it slowly.” The female voice comes back. I suck on the straw eagerly, reveling in the feeling of the cool liquid running over my tongue and down my arid throat.

The next God-knows-how-many minutes are spent prodding and poking me as bandages are lifted and dressings removed. Everything seems to be positive, given the reactions from those around me. Then it quietens down as people leave the room and we are left alone.

“What happened to me, Raff? What did they do to me? I can remember bits of it, your father. It was your father! Did you know that?” The beeping escalates as panic encroaches. “Can we turn that damn thing off?”

I listen as Raff tells me everything that happened and the injuries I have. Peering down, I see one arm in plaster and feel the ache in my bones.

“What is happening to him, Raff?”

“He’s been arrested, along with his accomplice, and, so far, they are refusing to speak. But now you are awake, the cops will want to talk to you.” Raff grimaces at the thought of his father.

“I can’t believe I’ve been here over a week; that must have been one hell of a knock on my head.” I’m frightened at how close I was to dying. “When can you take me home? I don’t want to be here anymore.” But when I look at Raff, tears flow freely once more. “Raff, what’s wrong, what has happened? Is it your father?”

“No, that fucker can rot, for all I care. It’s you.” He gazes down at his hands gripping the bed rails way too hard.

My brain freezes; this was not what I hoped or expected to hear. “Oh, okay. It’s alright, I get it. I’m sorry but I kind of thought this may happen. I’m pretty tired, I think I’ll get some rest, but can you ask Nico to come in for a while?” I lie back down and close my eyes, willing him to be gone before I open them again.

“Troy? What the fuck just happened?” Raff pushes his chair back forcefully, followed by a loud clatter; it must have crashed to the ground.

Sighing, I slowly open my eyes, staring up at the ceiling, “Raff, what happened to me isn’t your fault, you don’t have to hang around for me. If it’s all too much, then you can go. I guess I’m going to be hard work and I’ll need some help but Nico and Ryan will move back in or I can go to their place. Don’t stay out of an unnecessary sense of guilt or duty. I managed to survive being left once before, so I guess I’ll get over you, too.” I close my eyes to stop my own scalding tears from falling, I’m not sure I believe my own words.

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